In this season of my life… I was far away from the God I walked with as a boy and teenager… but He wasn’t far from me… He was still right where I had left Him…
I was asleep one night… I had a dream… in the middle of addiction… in the middle of my sin… this was it…
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I found myself on a path… alone…
I looked around… in awe… the road was marble… gold… silver… lined with precious jewels… vibrant… alive with color…
I thought… where am I where is everyone
All at once… I felt breath upon my neck…
slowly… I turned around… before me… was the most brilliant… awesome… magnificent thing… I have ever laid eyes on…
It was a Lion…
close as could be…
I was face to face with Him…
His eyes were so green… so piercing… He saw right through me…
Suddenly… I became afraid… what was He about to do what was about to happen
Beneath the fear… reverence…
I knew… He was King of all…
Then… He began to move…
He lowered His head… nudged me… to start walking…
As I moved along the path… He followed behind me…
Up ahead…
a small white horse…
The Lion went out… met the horse… devoured it… swallowed it whole…
Then He returned behind me once again… pushing me… down the path…
At the end… a wide marble staircase…
He came around from behind me… moved up the stairs… sat on the throne…
At His side… two other Lions…
I fell on my face…
I worshipped Him…
I knew…
He was God…
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I immediately woke up…
I jumped out of bed… started writing down the dream… because I didn’t want to forget it…
But it didn’t matter…
I never have forgotten…
It is as clear to me today… as when it first happened…
I’m able still… to close my eyes… relive it… just as vivid… anytime I want…
For years… I felt the dream was God telling me… that He was with me… calling me… to straighten up… follow Him…
Then… June of 2o08…
After the second attempt on my life… God rescued me… miraculously… just in time… brought me safely out of it… to Florida… to a men’s discipleship and drug rehab ministry…
I had been there for several months… it was now fall…
One afternoon… outside… raking leaves… singing… praising… alone…
Suddenly… I was reminded of my dream…
I looked out across the property…
In the front of the building… a small pond… and in the center… a fountain… of a Lion…
Then I noticed something else…
The driveway… L shaped… like the path in my dream…
At the end of the driveway… where the throne would be… two Lion statues… one on each side…
I was blown away…
Everything made sense now…
I was without words…
And I still am today… when I think about it all…
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I later became the resident director of that ministry… spent four years there…
I watched God work strong and mighty… in the lives of hundreds of broken men… that came through our doors… transforming them… they were never the same…
And in my life… there is absolutely… no doubt… what has happened… taken place…
who is responsible… who gets the credit… the glory… the honor… the praise… 🙌
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and…`.°~ ¡-~-¡`° the small white horse… my enemies… my past…
Deliver me… O LORD… from mine enemies… I flee unto thee for refuge… to hide me… Teach me to do thy will… for thou art my God… thy spirit is good… lead me into the land of uprightness… onto level ground… because of mine enemies… Quicken me… O LORD… for Jesus Christ name’s sake… for thy righteousness’ sake… bring my soul out of trouble… And of thy loving kindness… and mercy… cut off mine enemies… and destroy all them that afflict my soul.. for I am thy servant… thy friend… thy child…
I used to live in a tiny.. 95 year old.. two bedroom.. beach cottage.. on the west coast of Florida.. Anna Maria Island.. at high tide.. the Gulf of Mexico was maybe 50 feet or so from my back porch… a fabulous place… such a life… and in fact.. it was too close to the water… closer than other homes on the island… that small.. weak appearing structure.. had survived storm after storm after storm… throughout its life… it knew how to bend and flex with the wind… with life… just like the native palm trees that surrounded it…
me… the cottage… the palms… all together… all waiting… all ready… all prepared… for what was about to come…
On the horizon… something fierce… you didn’t need eyes to see it… you could feel it… it knew you… the breath of it.. once distant… now closer than ever…
It was a storm… and in it… a warning… leave the island… I’ve always been fascinated with bad weather… when people seek shelter… I go to my spot by a window… so I can see fully… eyes fixed… fear far off… I open the door… I feel like Im flyin`…
A few years earlier… I survived something… something that had me surrounded… everything outside… deepest black… but inside… where things matter… and count… a faint flicker burst… and riding the wind… beautiful in the night… were the Armies of Heaven… they came for me…
When I realized it was all over… that I was safe… I was met by a promise from high up… that I was to be kept… safe and sound… for all of my days…
I knew then… I was untouchable… that my storms… will fear and obey me… in them will I fly… in them will I reign… my finger in the eye of it… my foot… on its neck… the storm learned fear… not i…
The island was deserted… I found this out.. as I drove around it.. it was full of ghosts… people saw serious in the warning… and they were gone… I sat on my back porch… I was getting to see things that everyone else was missing… the sea was alive and wild… the turbulence… the waves… unreal… so came the wind… the rain… driven hard… angled… I decided to go inside and make some coffee… with an added shot of Jameson Irish Whiskey…☘️ haha…
I made the most of what was going on outside… and outside me… I played my guitar… I sang my songs… I lit smell good candles… I sipped smooth… strong drink… and I waited… never once afraid…
As time passed… the water rose… pushed by the wind… it surrounded me… I kept a close eye… prepared… just in case I needed to swim… find the shore… wherever it was… Im a good swimmer 😉… I looked out every window… all I could see was the sea… my home felt like a ship… never once worried for my life… the house stood in the wind… like it had done so many times before… this was the worst of it… the water just a few feet from the foundation… on all sides… never breaching… there was a force at work… that would only allow things to get so bad…
This is about a first day — just not the kind most people mean…
“I lost my innocence early in life… and I continued down that road for many years… It was nobody’s fault… life will just show up on you… Some lessons are hard learned in repetition… And actually… I believe I’m thankful for it… because it taught me… with beauty… just how special things can be… differences… in what happens… and what is supposed…”
Have you ever performed on stage or given a speech?
Yes and yes…
I’m a musician I play guitar and piano I sing
I’ve played parties I’ve performed in bars and nightclubs and concerts and music festivals I’ve been in bands — both secular and Christian
I was also part of a worldwide group of musicians called The Pond We played music festivals and online concerts together.. which were broadcast across the globe…
Later on.. I became a worship leader in ministry and church I also spent many Sundays playing music for residents in nursing homes and mental health hospitals
I’ve lived a pretty crazy life And.. for four years.. I traveled all across the state of Florida as a guest speaker — speaking in churches and at different events — telling my life story… `.°-
Stages and lights and microphones and crowds.. Rooms full of people.. Rooms with only a few..
Today though… the stage is just a memory.. just words…
So over the years.. I’m often inspired in the shower.. as I relinquish my daily filth to the basin of dissolve.. aka down the drain.. something frequently speaks to me.. and by something.. I mean the ultimate something.. it has gotten to the point that I prepare for it.. and expect to receive.. each time I shed my garments and stand neath the cleansing flood.. I could tell you stories for days about my sacred shower time.. today… I felt these words in my spirit
winded is the sail… `.°~
I’m not sure what to make of it yet.. it could be a poem.. a title for one of my real life stories.. a song.. a direction.. or something much more.. but I will be listening further.. and as the days unfold.. I know it shall reveal itself…
My friend Sobia and her sister Shamsa.. they have a children’s ministry in Pakistan.. they help the children forced to work in the brick kiln factories.. it’s unbelievable what’s happening there with these children.. I thought we were past medieval times.. these kids have nothing and no one to love and help them.. Sobia’s ministry is called JSBL Ministry.. aka Jesus Shining Bright Learning… but she and her sister’s… (3 sisters) love on the children daily and provide food for them and teach them.. so it’s kind of like a school.. it’s a wonderful ministry.. the sisters are trying to raise $3000 US dollars to help provide a decent Christmas for these kids this year.. so I told Sobia that I would help spread the word and get this video out there.. this is Shamsa in the video.. she just made the video last night.. I think.. and Sobia sent it to me this morning.. Sobia and I talk daily.. I’m so blessed to call her my friend.. it’s wonderful what she and her sisters are trying to do.. Sobia and Shamsa are these kids only hope right now.. it’s so so sad…
If anyone is interested in helping.. you can donate through Western Union.. here’s the info…
Name: Shamsa Emmanuel 33102-8903648-0 Ph.03212114958 Address: St. 4, lbn-e-marium colony Chak no 225 RB Malkhanwala Faisalabad Pakistan
For most of my life.. I’ve been strong and healthy.. Then about a year and a half ago.. my health crashed hard.. This past year has been rough… sickness.. weakness.. doctors searching for answers — but lately I’ve been getting stronger day by day..
Six months ago.. things hit the worst point..
I was deathly sick and went to the ER.. They ran tests.. Two doctors walked in with that look on their faces — the look that says everything before a word is spoken..
“We think it’s cancer.”
They told me there were spots on my pancreas… liver… kidneys… and when something shows up on multiple organs.. red flags go up immediately.. doctors assume the worst.. To them.. it looked like cancer that had already spread..
But me? I was calm..
Not because I’m fearless — but because I had a promise from above that I’d live a long life.. I knew it wasn’t my time.. And I also knew they can’t call anything “cancer” until a biopsy confirms it.. honestly.. even if it were cancer.. I’d still react calmly.. because I’m ready to go home whenever…
I was admitted to the hospital.. and while I waited for results.. everyone — doctors.. nurses.. all treated me like it was cancer.. even my patient chart said it’s cancer.. cancer.. cancer.. cancer… everywhere cancer… One nurse introduced me to another by saying….
“This is Bryan… he has pancreatic cancer.”
I looked up and said.. “No ma’am.. I don’t have cancer.. And the tests results aren’t even back yet…”
Everybody around me braced for the worst.. I held on to faith… I wasn’t signing my name on something that didn’t belong to me…
Not today. Not ever.
“Don’t put that evil on me.. Ricky Bobby..” I joked……….. (They tried to curse me — I wasn’t having it 😄…)
And then the results came in..
Everything was benign… No cancer… Doctors scratching their heads because they were almost certain… Me smiling.. because I already knew..
God kept His word to me. And I’m still here — living.. growing.. healing.. getting stronger every day..
If you’re facing something scary.. remember this.. Doctors have knowledge.. God has the final say……
And He’s not done with me yet.
Also… if you’re reading this….. He’s not done with you either…..
Heart of Loia `'.,°~ 