I’ve had some kind words over the years… but one stands above the rest…
It came through a window…
Back in the late 90s… I was living in a little downstairs apartment outside Atlanta… just me… a guitar… and a lot going on in life…
Most nights I’d sit by that open window and play… sing… pour it all out…
What I didn’t know…
Was that someone was listening…
There was a girl in the neighborhood… and for about a month… she would come by at night… lean up against the outside of my building… just out of sight…
And listen…
She told me later… she’d wait, hoping I’d be there… that my songs helped her get through things she was dealing with…
That she would just stand there… breathing it in… and for a little while…
She could forget her life…
One night… she finally said hello…
And I’ll never forget all the things she said to me…
That my music gave her peace… even if just for a moment…
I’ve never had a better compliment than that…
Not applause… not praise…
Just knowing that something coming out of my heart… reached someone else’s…
I was in chorus all through grade school… into high school…
learned how to sight read sheet music for vocals early on…
I started playing the guitar when I was 14… as a way to let go of deep loss…
it was a life saver…
later.. I picked up the bass…
shortly after that.. the piano…
might as well throw the harmonica in the mix…
I decided music was the way for me…
As a solo artist I played nightclubs and bars… concerts and music festivals…
I was part of a group of worldwide musicians known as ThePond…
we did online performances and in-person music festivals…
Then later…
I stopped all the secular stuff… went full-on Christian music…
I was a worship leader in church… also at different men’s ministries…
I had a traveling music ministry…
where I would go minister at hospitals and nursing homes and drug rehabs… mental health facilities…
I was also in a Christian band… KingsGuard.
I stayed so busy with it…
I got overwhelmed…
I started losing the fire… the desire to play…
About 3 years ago…
I decided I was done with it…
I got rid of my guitars… gave them away…
I can’t fake it…
I was burned out…
About 6 months ago…
I started feeling a spark inside… that fire again…
I realized that it’s who I am…
it’s part of me…
always will be…
Guess I just had to do life without it.
Live for a while.
…
Last night…
I started searching Amazon for my next guitar…
narrowed it down to two choices…
was planning on buying one of them…
This morning.. my uncle called me…
he’s a great musician and singer…
he’s sick… many health problems…
two weeks ago.. they found out he has a rare cancer…
He has two guitars…
he’s giving me one…
The other is his baby…
he wants me to hold it for him…
if his health gets better… he will get it back…
If not… he wants me to have it…
So here I am…
that old fire starting to flicker again…
guitars coming back into my life…
not in a cardboard box from Amazon…
but out of the hands of my uncle…
a man who’s carried songs through his own pain…
It feels like God is putting a guitar back in my hands through him…
a reminder that this calling never really left…
and this time…
I don’t have to run it down…
I just have to receive it…
and honor it.
…
…
found this hidden gem of me playing back stage.. with my fellow musicians from ThePond… this was PONDFEST 2o08… at Chimney Rock.. North Carolina… Lake Lure area… same place the movie Dirty Dancing was filmed… the people in the video are from all over the world… we are just messing around here.. practicing… learning new songs.. I had been drinking vodka all day… ugg I don’t drink like that anymore 😁👇 that’s me on the left
Message Received Loud N’ Clear… played today for the first time In a fat minute.
🎸 Psalm 40:3 “He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God…”
only for a little bit and not nearly as smart as him 😁
But seriously…
I was sitting on a bench— in a town square— just like the movie
As I do in all my dreams… I scanned everything first— taking it in— inspecting the air the place the feeling— before diving in
Sitting beside me on the bench— was a man I recognized
Gary
My neighbor from when I was about fourteen— he lived directly next door he used to play football with me and my friends he took me fishing often— he loved to fish— and he didn’t like going alone
He didn’t really have friends either
He and his wife Nancy— were from upstate New York they’d moved to the Atlanta area for work— and I assume— to eat grits 🙃
Gary was older than me— about twenty five I was fourteen… and still missing the toilet when I pissed
I looked up to him— like a big brother
The last time I saw him— was a few months after my friend’s funeral not long after that— he and Nancy moved away— I think back to New York— if I remember right
There we were— side by side— on that bench
I spoke to him…
He turned toward me— but he didn’t know who I was
So I told him— reminded him of our past— the fishing the football the neighborhood
Then he remembered…
His eyes lit up…
And then I told him— that God loved him
His face changed…
He became sad— started crying
He told me— his family was very worried about him— very concerned
And that was it…
I woke up…
End of dream…
I went downstairs— made coffee— then breakfast— in that order
I’ve thought about him all morning… I prayed for him…
For some reason— I have the feeling that today— this very moment— he’s in a storm
Heart of Loia `'.,°~ 