I was waist deep in an icy body of water — dark… still… and filled with large chunks of white and blue ice I could feel the cold cutting into me I was freezing Shivering Every movement felt slow and heavy
At the edge of the water stood a large square black house No windows Just one open door — glowing with light It felt like the only way out of this place
So I waded through the water in the night searching for something… I didn’t know what
Then I heard crying
Someone calling out in distress
I saw a disturbance in the water ahead of me… It was a girl… She looked like she was drowning… I moved toward her without thinking — instinct kicked in…
When I reached her.. I noticed something strange
She was blue
Her skin… her whole body… an unnatural blue
I tried to help her toward the shore toward the light — but suddenly she changed She latched onto me Hard… she began trying to pull me out into deeper water…
She was trying to drown me
Her eyes were excited — almost joyful — as I struggled to stay afloat She was enjoying it Taking pleasure in my suffering The fight for survival became violent and desperate She wouldn’t relent
Neither would I
I fought and fought and fought
I was determined… not to let her win…
I pushed through the icy water toward the lit door of the black house as she tried again and again to drag me under Through the open doorway.. I could see people inside — just living their lives Normal Unaware Going about their day
I tried to yell to them
But I couldn’t scream loud enough
I kept trying… but my words had no weight No volume Nothing carried
I was so close to the door now — so close — and that blue bitch almost had me She was seconds from pulling me under the surface of the water
I knew I had one chance left
I reached deep inside myself I had to make it count
And I yelled one last time —
“YALL HELP ME”
I woke myself up… shouting those words out loud
Physically yelling
And suddenly… it was over
I was awake
Safe
What a relief
It was just a dream
—
very profound… very real… I laid awake in bed… thinking `’.-°
…….≈≈≈↓~❄→|█|→□▣→†→~↓≈≈≈→<o>→|█|→( )→!→/\/\/\→↑→”YALL HELP ME”→’→~__→…..t `’.-° -;- ~`’,
In this season of my life… I was far away from the God I walked with as a boy and teenager… but He wasn’t far from me… He was still right where I had left Him…
I was asleep one night… I had a dream… in the middle of addiction… in the middle of my sin… this was it…
—
I found myself on a path… alone…
I looked around… in awe… the road was marble… gold… silver… lined with precious jewels… vibrant… alive with color…
I thought… where am I where is everyone
All at once… I felt breath upon my neck…
slowly… I turned around… before me… was the most brilliant… awesome… magnificent thing… I have ever laid eyes on…
It was a Lion…
close as could be…
I was face to face with Him…
His eyes were so green… so piercing… He saw right through me…
Suddenly… I became afraid… what was He about to do what was about to happen
Beneath the fear… reverence…
I knew… He was King of all…
Then… He began to move…
He lowered His head… nudged me… to start walking…
As I moved along the path… He followed behind me…
Up ahead…
a small white horse…
The Lion went out… met the horse… devoured it… swallowed it whole…
Then He returned behind me once again… pushing me… down the path…
At the end… a wide marble staircase…
He came around from behind me… moved up the stairs… sat on the throne…
At His side… two other Lions…
I fell on my face…
I worshipped Him…
I knew…
He was God…
—
I immediately woke up…
I jumped out of bed… started writing down the dream… because I didn’t want to forget it…
But it didn’t matter…
I never have forgotten…
It is as clear to me today… as when it first happened…
I’m able still… to close my eyes… relive it… just as vivid… anytime I want…
For years… I felt the dream was God telling me… that He was with me… calling me… to straighten up… follow Him…
Then… June of 2o09…
After the second attempt on my life… God rescued me… miraculously… just in time… brought me safely out of it… to Florida… to a men’s discipleship and drug rehab ministry…
I had been there for several months… it was now fall…
One afternoon… outside… raking leaves… singing… praising… alone…
Suddenly… I was reminded of my dream…
I looked out across the property…
In the front of the building… a small pond… and in the center… a fountain… of a Lion…
Then I noticed something else…
The driveway… L shaped… like the path in my dream…
At the end of the driveway… where the throne would be… two Lion statues… one on each side…
I was blown away…
Everything made sense now…
I was without words…
And I still am today… when I think about it all…
—
I later became the resident director of that ministry… spent four years there…
I watched God work strong and mighty… in the lives of hundreds of broken men… that came through our doors… transforming them… they were never the same…
And in my life… there is absolutely… no doubt… what has happened… taken place…
who is responsible… who gets the credit… the glory… the honor… the praise… 🙌
—
and…`.°~ ¡-~-¡`° the small white horse… my enemies… my past…
Deliver me… O LORD… from mine enemies… I flee unto thee for refuge… to hide me… Teach me to do thy will… for thou art my God… thy spirit is good… lead me into the land of uprightness… onto level ground… because of mine enemies… Quicken me… O LORD… for Jesus Christ name’s sake… for thy righteousness’ sake… bring my soul out of trouble… And of thy loving kindness… and mercy… cut off mine enemies… and destroy all them that afflict my soul.. for I am thy servant… thy friend… thy child…
I used to live in a tiny.. 95 year old.. two bedroom.. beach cottage.. on the west coast of Florida.. Anna Maria Island.. at high tide.. the Gulf of Mexico was maybe 50 feet or so from my back porch… a fabulous place… such a life… and in fact.. it was too close to the water… closer than other homes on the island… that small.. weak appearing structure.. had survived storm after storm after storm… throughout its life… it knew how to bend and flex with the wind… with life… just like the native palm trees that surrounded it…
me… the cottage… the palms… all together… all waiting… all ready… all prepared… for what was about to come…
On the horizon… something fierce… you didn’t need eyes to see it… you could feel it… it knew you… the breath of it.. once distant… now closer than ever…
It was a storm… and in it… a warning… leave the island… I’ve always been fascinated with bad weather… when people seek shelter… I go to my spot by a window… so I can see fully… eyes fixed… fear far off… I open the door… I feel like Im flyin`…
A few years earlier… I survived something… something that had me surrounded… everything outside… deepest black… but inside… where things matter… and count… a faint flicker burst… and riding the wind… beautiful in the night… were the Armies of Heaven… they came for me…
When I realized it was all over… that I was safe… I was met by a promise from high up… that I was to be kept… safe and sound… for all of my days…
I knew then… I was untouchable… that my storms… will fear and obey me… in them will I fly… in them will I reign… my finger in the eye of it… my foot… on its neck… the storm learned fear… not i…
The island was deserted… I found this out.. as I drove around it.. it was full of ghosts… people saw serious in the warning… and they were gone… I sat on my back porch… I was getting to see things that everyone else was missing… the sea was alive and wild… the turbulence… the waves… unreal… so came the wind… the rain… driven hard… angled… I decided to go inside and make some coffee… with an added shot of Jameson Irish Whiskey…☘️ haha…
I made the most of what was going on outside… and outside me… I played my guitar… I sang my songs… I lit smell good candles… I sipped smooth… strong drink… and I waited… never once afraid…
As time passed… the water rose… pushed by the wind… it surrounded me… I kept a close eye… prepared… just in case I needed to swim… find the shore… wherever it was… Im a good swimmer 😉… I looked out every window… all I could see was the sea… my home felt like a ship… never once worried for my life… the house stood in the wind… like it had done so many times before… this was the worst of it… the water just a few feet from the foundation… on all sides… never breaching… there was a force at work… that would only allow things to get so bad…
This is about a first day — just not the kind most people mean…
“I lost my innocence early in life… and I continued down that road for many years… It was nobody’s fault… life will just show up on you… Some lessons are hard learned in repetition… And actually… I believe I’m thankful for it… because it taught me… with beauty… just how special things can be… differences… in what happens… and what is supposed…”
Have you ever performed on stage or given a speech?
Yes and yes…
I’m a musician I play guitar and piano I sing
I’ve played parties I’ve performed in bars and nightclubs and concerts and music festivals I’ve been in bands — both secular and Christian
I was also part of a worldwide group of musicians called The Pond We played music festivals and online concerts together.. which were broadcast across the globe…
Later on.. I became a worship leader in ministry and church I also spent many Sundays playing music for residents in nursing homes and mental health hospitals
I’ve lived a pretty crazy life And.. for four years.. I traveled all across the state of Florida as a guest speaker — speaking in churches and at different events — telling my life story… `.°-
Stages and lights and microphones and crowds.. Rooms full of people.. Rooms with only a few..
Today though… the stage is just a memory.. just words…
So over the years.. I’m often inspired in the shower.. as I relinquish my daily filth to the basin of dissolve.. aka down the drain.. something frequently speaks to me.. and by something.. I mean the ultimate something.. it has gotten to the point that I prepare for it.. and expect to receive.. each time I shed my garments and stand neath the cleansing flood.. I could tell you stories for days about my sacred shower time.. today… I felt these words in my spirit
winded is the sail… `.°~
I’m not sure what to make of it yet.. it could be a poem.. a title for one of my real life stories.. a song.. a direction.. or something much more.. but I will be listening further.. and as the days unfold.. I know it shall reveal itself…
If you didn’t need sleep, what would you do with all the extra time?
When I saw this prompt question… it brought back many memories of my past… my drug days…
I went without much in those years… including sleep…
I was reminded of the time I stayed awake for 18 days… so I started thinking on it… and googling… and reading…
Apparently.. the Guinness World Record for staying awake is 11 days and 25 minutes… so yeah… I shattered that record… but I’m guessing that guy didn’t have any help from stimulants lol…
Through more reading… I learned that being awake 18 days is hanging right on the edge of death…
Guess I’m really blessed and fortunate… because there were numerous times I would be awake around 10 days or more even.. I actually beat the world record many times… nothing to be proud of…
I am so grateful and thankful to God… that I made it through those times… and I am not the same today…
Death waited at the door… but it did not win… I walked back out of those days… changed… and still breathing…
Heart of Loia `'.,°~ 