This is about a first day — just not the kind most people mean…
“I lost my innocence early in life… and I continued down that road for many years… It was nobody’s fault… life will just show up on you… Some lessons are hard learned in repetition… And actually… I believe I’m thankful for it… because it taught me… with beauty… just how special things can be… differences… in what happens… and what is supposed…”
So over the years.. I’m often inspired in the shower.. as I relinquish my daily filth to the basin of dissolve.. aka down the drain.. something frequently speaks to me.. and by something.. I mean the ultimate something.. it has gotten to the point that I prepare for it.. and expect to receive.. each time I shed my garments and stand neath the cleansing flood.. I could tell you stories for days about my sacred shower time.. today… I felt these words in my spirit
winded is the sail… `.°~
I’m not sure what to make of it yet.. it could be a poem.. a title for one of my real life stories.. a song.. a direction.. or something much more.. but I will be listening further.. and as the days unfold.. I know it shall reveal itself…
If you didn’t need sleep, what would you do with all the extra time?
When I saw this prompt question… it brought back many memories of my past… my drug days…
I went without much in those years… including sleep…
I was reminded of the time I stayed awake for 18 days… so I started thinking on it… and googling… and reading…
Apparently.. the Guinness World Record for staying awake is 11 days and 25 minutes… so yeah… I shattered that record… but I’m guessing that guy didn’t have any help from stimulants lol…
Through more reading… I learned that being awake 18 days is hanging right on the edge of death…
Guess I’m really blessed and fortunate… because there were numerous times I would be awake around 10 days or more even.. I actually beat the world record many times… nothing to be proud of…
I am so grateful and thankful to God… that I made it through those times… and I am not the same today…
Death waited at the door… but it did not win… I walked back out of those days… changed… and still breathing…
Honestly I don’t really have “pet peeves” anymore.. Ever since I started walking closer with God.. most of the little annoyances I used to care about just… lost their power..
If anything bothers me now it’s only the things that try and steal my joy.. that pull me away from peace.. faith.. or clouds the love I’m trying to live by..
And besides.. I have an ocean to overcome right now.. so I don’t have time to be peeving..
All Around the World — Justin Bieber (Acoustic)👇💯☝️⚘️🏳💥🎶❤️🔥😎`-¡-`~~~ ¡`°
When I was fourteen.. my best friend was killed in a dirt-bike accident.. I can’t begin to tell you what it did to me… “Crushing” is the only word I have right now.. and even that feels too small.. We were closer than brothers..
After the funeral.. I fell into my bedroom. That room became my world — my home inside my home.. Everyone was worried about me.. I shut down.. Closed myself off to everyone.. No access allowed..
It felt like I was on a camping trip in the wilderness alone.. And I stayed there for a whole year..
I needed something… but I didn’t know what..
I started borrowing CDs and cassette tapes from my uncle.. I found an old tape in a box in the attic — Bob Dylan’s — Another Side of Bob Dylan.. And I sank into it… rock… country… folk… old… new… Hank Williams Jr… And the only Christian song I even knew back then.. Amazing Grace..
I didn’t just listen — I drank it.. And the more I drank.. the thirstier I got.. So I went swimming in it.. Something I still do..
Meanwhile.. God was walking the edges of me…
One night I awoke from a dream.. and there in the corner of my bedroom was a silhouette.. shaped like a guitar..
my mother was so worried about me she didn’t know what else to do.. So she bought me an acoustic guitar.. And one night.. while I was sleeping… she placed it in the corner of my room.. right where I would see it.. the moment I opened my eyes..
I played it… and I played it… and I played it… (until my fingers bled) until it started playing me..
I learned it — taught myself — until it learned me back..
Song after song.. Day after day.. night after night… Month after month.. From the fall of 1988 into the winter of 1989.. I played it….. until it became my heartbeat..
And finally… after a year in the wilderness… I emerged from my room.. ready to face my giants of the 90’s…
Psalm 34:18 (NKJV) 💥 “”The Lord is near to the brokenhearted.. and saves those who are crushed in spirit.””
Lyrics from the song “Better Way” by Sister Hazel 👇
“” Now.. here I sit.. in a cage all my own It’s a new life.. it’s a brand new home.. and it’s made out of steel.. it’s built out of fear.. It’s closed up to you.. and it’s part of the deal…””
Lyrics from “Always Loving You” Hank Williams Jr 👇
“”And I still hear that old whippoorwill I’ve seen the ghost of a midnight train And I still love to go alone 🎶🎶🎶 Down by the old Union station in the rain””
( the artists and songs below are just some of my early influences..(not all tho) it’s much wider today.. I added so much to it.. like punk.. alternative.. rap… gospel and hymns… Christian rock.. etc.. you name it.. i am it… haha… so much variety…)
Of the thousands of songs that are a part of me.. this one hits deeper than them all.. 👇
👇💯🦋🎶😎⚘️
First song i ever learned on guitar 👇
When I first realized music could be poetry 👇
When I first realized music could be stories like reading a book 👇
And this one just played a lot that year.. it’s also one of my favorites to play on piano👇 used to be anyways…
And this one… needs no explanation. 👇
And this one.. you must watch til the end 👇🤟😁😎`
Oh and this one… 👇
Oh and this one… 👇
👇 👑
👇🤟 this one is special.. it’s the title of this post… Long Cold Winter..
👇🤟
🤟👇
This one is special to me 💯👇
💯💯💯💯👇
Listened to this one alot back then 👇
🔥👇🎶💯
🌧 🌦 🌂 ⛈️ 💯💥
💯💯💯💯💯
💯⚘️
⚘️💯💥🏳
🥳💯😁💥
🚉💥🍊🔥
💯💯💯💯💯
💥🥳👇💯
💥💯👇🏃♀️
🥳💥💯👇💣
💯🎶💥🏳⚘️🤟👇💣🔥🪜💙
🐎 👇💯
⚘️💥💯🎶
👇 ⛰️ ✨️
💯💯💯💥👇🔥
💯💯💯👇💥🔥💣 🏹 ➡️
💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💥👇🤟
🎶💯🎶💯🎶💯🎶💯
⚘️⚘️⚘️⚘️👇
👧 👇💯🥳🏃♀️
🎶👇⚘️💯❣️💥🪜
🎶💥🎶💥💯⚘️
💯❣️💯❣️💯❣️💯❣️💯
I’m against cats 🐈 in the house!👇😁
👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇💯❣️💥
Wow I forgot this one👇❣️
🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤👇
👇💥☝️
👇………..
Oh the memories tonight 👇💥💯
Oh wow 👇❣️
🦋💯💥🎶
💯💥🖤🥳👇🌩
👇❤️🖤💥💯💢
👇☝️
……👇🎶💯
💯💥🎶👇🤟
🏳🪜💯💥🎶
Oh Lord oh Lord 👇☝️❣️💥💯🎶🪜
❤️🩷💙💥💯💢
🎶💥💯❣️👇☝️
🚆 🚉 🎶👇
On point 👉 👇☝️💯
🖤💯☝️👉👇🤟💥
🥳🥳🥳🥳💯👇
👇💥
👇👇👇💥❣️🎶💯🤟
😁💯🥳🤟👇
💯😎👇
☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️👇
🤟👇💯
💯💯💯💯🎶🎶❣️💥👇
🦌 👩 👰♂ 💯👇❣️💥🎶🦋❤️
🇺🇸 🥳💯👇💥
Awesome 🖤👇💯🎶😎
👇💥❣️🎶💯🦋
One of my favorites 👇💥💯
👇💯
Love this one👇❤️☝️
👇💯🦋
👇💯❤️
Tragically beautiful 👇🎶😎❤️💯
😎🎶💯👇💥☝️
🥳💯👇woohoo
💯👇🥳
💯💯💯💯💯
😎🎶💯👇
💯👇❣️
Beautiful 💯🎶❣️👇
👇💥🎶
💯👇🥳❣️🎶😎💥
💥👇💯🎶
👇💯
😎😎😎💥👇👇👇💯💯💯🎶🎶🎶
🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶
💯💯💯💯
💯👇💥😎🎶❣️
😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁🎶👇💯💥
💯😎😎😎😎😎😎😎👇
👇💯
💯👇💥🎶😎❣️⚘️🦋
😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁💯💯💯💯💥👇🎶
🥳😁👇💯
👇💯👇💯
…..💯👇😎🎶❣️
💯👇
😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎👇
………….👇
🌩🦋🎶💥👇💯
Lovin it 💯💯💯😎👇💥🎶
💯👇💥❣️word!
🥳🥳🥳🤟👇😎😎😎💯💯💯💥💥😁😁
💯💯👇
Love it… 👇💯❤️💥
🎣 💯👇🎶💥
😁💯👇😎
Amen… 💯👇
Oh the memories 💯👇😎🎶
Hahaha 👇💥💯😁🥳🎶
👇👇👇
💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯👇
……….💯👇👇💥
😁😁😁🥳🎶💯👇
……….👇💯
Beautiful 💯❤️⚘️👇
……👇💯
🕊 👇💯❣️💥🦋
⚘️⚘️⚘️⚘️⚘️⚘️⚘️⚘️⚘️⚘️⚘️🌩
💯🥳💯🥳🎶👇
…❣️👇💯
🥳💯🤟🎶👇
…!…!…!…👇
……😎💯👇
Oh Lord 👇
💣🖤💯🎶⚘️💥👇🤟🪜🏳
👇💥⚘️💯💣🔥🏳🤟 The End… maybe
My album influences from that year included… every single album from Hank Williams Jr 😁😎… Cinderella’s Long Cold Winter… and Bob Dylan’s Another Side Of Bob Dylan.. also HSAS… Through The Fire.. aka Hagar.. Schon.. Aaronson.. Shrieve.. some of you may remember these guys.. they were incredible.. their cover of “Whiter Shade Of Pale” is still my favorite today.. and their song “Missing You” also I listened to a lot of radio that year… and Amazing Grace.. O’ How sweet the sound.. I’m sure that I’m forgetting some… I will remember later and probably edit haha… majority of my christian music influences came a little later in life…
I want my first impression to feel like a hidden track — a quiet glow in a deep place.. carrying a melody of grace beneath the scars…
I don’t have all the answers… but I know Who does…..`-¡-`°<³ I don’t know what the future holds… but I know Who holds the future….. I’m nothing special… but I’m special to Him…..
I used to live for myself.. Now I try to put others first — it’s my deep place… the place I like to dwell.. Today.. I carry a love for people I never dreamed possible…..`~ ¡- `<³° To me.. there’s no such thing as a stranger……
I want to take a moment to explain what I’m doing here on this blog…
First and above all… I love Jesus — 110%… But I also used to be lost.. and I never want to forget that.. My past lets me relate to anyone who shows up here.. Everything I’ve walked through — the struggles.. the mistakes.. the victories.. the faith — it all shaped who I am today…
And I’ve decided I’m not hiding any of it..
This blog is going to show all of me..
who I was…
who I am now…
and who I’m becoming…
I’m going to pour it out and not hold back..
My ministry is BryanForChrist.. and it reaches far beyond one place.. It includes..
my YouTube channel…
my Grow account…
my WhatsApp ministry…
my mission work in the Philippines.. Singapore.. Argentina.. and now Uganda..
and my ongoing connections with churches and ministries across Florida..
And now here also…
There’s a lot happening — but it all comes down to one mission… reaching people who need hope… listening to them… talking to them… loving them… all of them…
I’m going to do that by being myself… My secular side.. my life side.. my faith side.. my Christian heart — it all lives here together…..
So this blog is different.. than my other things going on.. I feel this is my angle of approach.. unique to here…
And trust me…
it’s going to work… I hope 😄… nah just kidding… it will be fine… 😁… regardless though… It will be me… 😎…..,t`¡-<³… ☝️
Fragments of Loia 