Tag: Love and Loss

a story from my life…

Back in 2o08… my life was fun fun… you know… dodging bullets… concrete shoes… watery graves… Judas kisses… the usual crap
Eventually… I took a break from all the excitement
And checked myself into an 18 month drug rehab in Florida
They say rehab is for quitters… yep… they’d be right…

A few weeks in… something real started happening inside me
Things slowed down
Life was simple
Clear
Peaceful
For the first time in a long time… I was happy
My mind was sharp
God was working in me something fierce
Speaking loud
Speaking clear
I knew… I was exactly where I needed to be…

We were on this beautiful ten acre spread
And I lived in a house with about ten other guys
All of them tired
All of them broken
All of them ready for change
They became my brothers
And— they still are…

One of my responsibilities there… was to care for the ministry dog
His name was Beavis
Cool name— cooler dog
He was older… a boxer mix… gorgeous… and so smart
He didn’t really have anywhere to go either
His owner Stuart had died of cancer about a year before I arrived… and Beavis never recovered from it…

He was grieving
Deeply
They told me how he cried… and searched… and waited for Stuart…
And it broke my heart
A dog that was once full of life… joy… energy… spark…
Was now quiet… distant… hurting…
He would not let anyone in…

But there was one thing he still loved…
There was this random green 10 pound bowling ball on the property
You could sling that thing across the grounds
And Beavis would bark… chase it down… and roll it across the field with his head…
Like it was the most important mission on earth
I had never seen a dog play with a bowling ball before 😁
He absolutely loved it
So I made it my daily mission… to roll life back into him…

People told me Beavis would never bond with anyone again
That he belonged to Stuart
That his heart was finished choosing humans…

Challenge accepted—

I took care of him
Vet visits
Meds
Food
Time
Love
Patience
And after about a year… it happened…
Beavis chose me—
He followed me everywhere
He slept beside my bed
He watched me
Protected me
Laughed with me… in his dog way…
He came back to life…

But loving… comes with cost—

Because he slept outside before I came…
He had gotten heartworms from mosquitoes
Over the four years I lived there… after graduating… and becoming resident director…
Beavis slowly grew sicker…
I gave him antibiotics daily
I loved him harder as he grew weaker
And.. Just like he stayed with Stuart— I stayed with him… til the end…

He had a soft bed right beside mine
He had warmth
Comfort
Care
Family
Honor…
He was treated like royalty—

All us guys loved him so…

And when the time came… I could not watch him suffer anymore…
I made the call…
Was so hard for me…
So hard…

Beavis was one of the greats
Not just a dog…
A gift—

He was meant for me
I was meant for him

destined for each other…

I will always remember him…

The mighty— loyal— stubborn— beautiful heart of Beavis…

He was my Dawg… 😎`’.,°~

Though oceans roar… You are the Lord of all… The one who calms the wind and waves and makes my heart be still…
Though the Earth gives way… the mountains move into the sea… The nations rage… I know my God is in control…

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`’.,°~