I’ve had some kind words over the years… but one stands above the rest…
It came through a window…
Back in the late 90s… I was living in a little downstairs apartment outside Atlanta… just me… a guitar… and a lot going on in life…
Most nights I’d sit by that open window and play… sing… pour it all out…
What I didn’t know…
Was that someone was listening…
There was a girl in the neighborhood… and for about a month… she would come by at night… lean up against the outside of my building… just out of sight…
And listen…
She told me later… she’d wait, hoping I’d be there… that my songs helped her get through things she was dealing with…
That she would just stand there… breathing it in… and for a little while…
She could forget her life…
One night… she finally said hello…
And I’ll never forget all the things she said to me…
That my music gave her peace… even if just for a moment…
I’ve never had a better compliment than that…
Not applause… not praise…
Just knowing that something coming out of my heart… reached someone else’s…
Yesterday, the Lord dealt with me all day about writing short stories in the future.
He reminded me of a time when I was about 10 years old. I shot and killed a bluebird that was resting on a clothesline. I was so sad. I held it in my hands, crying.
I took it to my mother, thinking we could save it — but it was too late.
Yesterday, God brought that moment back to my mind.
And He gave me an idea for a story… how that bird could represent Christ dying for me.
He also gave me the title
Soft Blued Kings
I spent three hours last night just trying to write the opening sentence. With His help, this is what I came up with
Way up in a lone Georgia pine, proud were the wings of two — a bird of a father, a son true blue.
This story will take some time.
I’m going to take it slow… and allow the Lord to help me write every bit of it.
It will be my first short story like this, and maybe the first of many.
What is your middle name? Does it carry any special meaning/significance?
My middle name is Loia, and for most of my life, it was a mystery.
It’s funny this WordPress prompt comes up today… because I’ve spent decades carrying that name without really knowing why.
I always knew it was rare. I knew it sounded different. But beyond that, it was just this odd, beautiful word that sat between my first and last name like a secret I didn’t yet understand.
What I did know was that it was also my step great-grandfather’s middle name.
He wasn’t related to me by blood at all. He was my great-grandmother’s second husband, and they never had any children together.
On paper, he and I weren’t really connected at all. But life doesn’t always follow paper.
He was always around as I was growing up. He loved me and helped raise me like I was his own. He was an extraordinary man, steady and present, and he stayed in my life until he passed away in the mid-90s.
That middle name tied us together, even if I didn’t know where it came from. I just knew I shared something with him, and that felt important—even if I couldn’t put it into words.
When I started my blog back in November, I chose Loia as my pen name. I wasn’t even sure why I did it at the time.
It just felt right… like the name was waiting for that moment.
Maybe it reminded me of him. Or maybe the name had just been sitting there all along.
Either way… I typed it into the author field. And it just felt right.
Recently, I started digging into it… really digging.
I wanted to know what I’d been carrying all these years.
I found out that Loia was my step great-grandfather’s mother’s maiden name.
She was an Italian immigrant, and she gave that name to her son as his middle name… so he would carry it with him—to keep her lineage from being forgotten.
That’s when it really hit me.
She didn’t want her name, her people, her story to disappear into the dust of time.
So she planted it in her child’s name like a seed.
And now, somehow, I carry it too.
I’m not Italian at all, at least not by blood. Yet here I am, bearing the same name she fought to preserve.
Somehow.. I became part of what she started… long before I was even born.
And somehow I’m the one who ended up running with it.
I traced Loia back to its Latin origin and into the early Roman Empire.
I followed it as far back as the 12th century, to the Loia family in the southern Italian peninsula, in places like Campania. There may even be some Sicilian roots branching off that same line.
I read stories about relatives from those eras, names.. dates.. fragments of lives, and it was fascinating.
It felt like finding my name written in a story that started centuries before me… even though none of them are my blood.
Apparently it’s a rare surname.
Old as dirt…
the kind of name that has seen things.
I could have kept tracing it back even further, but at some point.. I decided to stop.
I knew enough.
I had already learned more than I ever expected to… and the mystery started feeling like it belonged to me.
Growing up, I pronounced it “Loy” like “Joy,” because that’s how I was told by my mother to say it.
Only recently did I learn that the Italian way is more like “LOH-yah.”
It’s interesting hearing the same name two different ways—one from my childhood, the other from Italy.
And then there’s this other detail that feels too poetic to ignore…
My girlfriend is also an Italian/Sicilian immigrant and an American citizen.
The way we met, the timing, the circumstances around it—it all carries this almost storybook quality.
“Coincidence” doesn’t quite feel like the right word anymore.
I don’t know how to explain it fully.
It just feels like there’s a hand at work in my life right now… quietly lining things up.
This old, rare name. The man who loved me like his own. The Italian mother who didn’t want her lineage forgotten. My choice of pen name. My girlfriend’s story.
All these crooked lines seem to be converging in ways I couldn’t have planned if I tried.
So what is my middle name, and what is its meaning or significance?
My middle name is Loia.
It’s the name of a man who helped raise me, the name of an Italian woman who refused to let her family disappear, a name that has survived centuries, continents, and bloodlines to land here, in my life, on my byline.
It reminds me that family isn’t always about blood… and that sometimes the things we carry our whole lives… finally make sense.
“It’s not what you got… it’s what you give. It aint the life you choose… it’s the life you live.”
I was in chorus all through grade school… into high school…
learned how to sight read sheet music for vocals early on…
I started playing the guitar when I was 14… as a way to let go of deep loss…
it was a life saver…
later.. I picked up the bass…
shortly after that.. the piano…
might as well throw the harmonica in the mix…
I decided music was the way for me…
As a solo artist I played nightclubs and bars… concerts and music festivals…
I was part of a group of worldwide musicians known as ThePond…
we did online performances and in-person music festivals…
Then later…
I stopped all the secular stuff… went full-on Christian music…
I was a worship leader in church… also at different men’s ministries…
I had a traveling music ministry…
where I would go minister at hospitals and nursing homes and drug rehabs… mental health facilities…
I was also in a Christian band… KingsGuard.
I stayed so busy with it…
I got overwhelmed…
I started losing the fire… the desire to play…
About 3 years ago…
I decided I was done with it…
I got rid of my guitars… gave them away…
I can’t fake it…
I was burned out…
About 6 months ago…
I started feeling a spark inside… that fire again…
I realized that it’s who I am…
it’s part of me…
always will be…
Guess I just had to do life without it.
Live for a while.
…
Last night…
I started searching Amazon for my next guitar…
narrowed it down to two choices…
was planning on buying one of them…
This morning.. my uncle called me…
he’s a great musician and singer…
he’s sick… many health problems…
two weeks ago.. they found out he has a rare cancer…
He has two guitars…
he’s giving me one…
The other is his baby…
he wants me to hold it for him…
if his health gets better… he will get it back…
If not… he wants me to have it…
So here I am…
that old fire starting to flicker again…
guitars coming back into my life…
not in a cardboard box from Amazon…
but out of the hands of my uncle…
a man who’s carried songs through his own pain…
It feels like God is putting a guitar back in my hands through him…
a reminder that this calling never really left…
and this time…
I don’t have to run it down…
I just have to receive it…
and honor it.
…
…
found this hidden gem of me playing back stage.. with my fellow musicians from ThePond… this was PONDFEST 2o08… at Chimney Rock.. North Carolina… Lake Lure area… same place the movie Dirty Dancing was filmed… the people in the video are from all over the world… we are just messing around here.. practicing… learning new songs.. I had been drinking vodka all day… ugg I don’t drink like that anymore 😁👇 that’s me on the left
Message Received Loud N’ Clear… played today for the first time In a fat minute.
🎸 Psalm 40:3 “He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God…”
Psssst… hey you. Yeah, you — know-it-all. C’mere… do you have a pen? I know you do. Write these numbers down… 10, 33, 41, 47, 56 — Powerball 10.
Play them on November 7, 2022. The jackpot will be $2.04 billion.
But listen—use most of it to help people… that’s where the real win is. You’ll be happier. You’ll be blessed. And you’ll receive a reward on the inside… that no amount of money can buy…
🎵 Kid Rock — “Care” (Cocky, 2001) feat. Angaleena Presley & T.I.
“For where your treasure is… there your heart will be also…” — Matthew 6:21
It was the summer of 1995… I was 21… going through much… trying to figure life out…
I’d just moved in with a guy I worked with… only been there a few weeks… it was the weekend… I’d been out late hanging with my friends…
when I finally came home… I headed down the hall toward my bedroom…
As I got closer… I could hear a guitar playing… a girl singing… the sound was coming from my room…
I was like wth!?…
I opened my door…
There on my bed… a black-haired girl I had never seen before… strumming my guitar… singing… completely lost in it… like she owned the night… no curfew in sight…
she wasn’t wearing any clothes… my brain just blue-screened…
I was frozen… my tongue super stuck…
she looks at me… with friendly eyes… smiles and says Hey
“your roommate said it was ok…”
Her name was Rachel… she and I became friends… we often jammed together…
she was a part-time exotic dancer… aka… a stripper…
my roommate was dating her friend… so many nights… she and her friends… plural… ended up at my house…
but she never wanted to hang out with the rest of them… she just wanted to chill… sing songs… play guitar…
She was a great musician… had a great voice… music was her dream…
Many times I’d come home late find her in my room… doing her thing…
I’d grab my other guitar… and we’d play for hours…
I had a small recording studio we’d lay down tracks… we recorded all kinds of covers… had these freestyle… ad-lib jam sessions… just chasing whatever sound showed up…
It was definitely a crazy summer… but also kind of holy in its own way…
it’s beautiful how musicians can come together and bond… doesn’t matter who or what you are… your background or anything…
musicians and artists just immediately have that thing. that links us… that invisible wire… heart to heart… song to song…
what I remember most those nights… isn’t the chaos…
it’s the music…
two guitars… chasing songs in the middle of the night… letting the sound carry through a messy season of life…
…
I did much praying that summer…
cryin’ out in the night…
sometimes with words… sometimes with songs…
finding healing…
wherever I could…
..
Oh yeah I might be crazy… But that’s not the same as insane… And I’m scared… But that’s not the same as being afraid…