This is my friend Paul. He’s a radio journalist and Middle East commentator in Israel. He’s also a gifted poet and a writer.
Below is a link to one of his latest video poems on Rumble.com about Trump’s hair. 😂 You can also check out his latest book. The information about it is at the end of the poem. He actually has a series of Trump’s Hair ones lol
Also Paul’s YouTube channel is below. Check him out.
It’s 9am on a Saturday morning and you’re in your kitchen, sipping coffee and trying to wake up and sober up from a crazy night of drunken naked twister with your neighbors Jim and Linda when suddenly you look out the window and you can’t believe your eyes. There’s 50 individuals dressed in full camouflage and carrying guns walking down your street.
WTH! OH NO… IT’S ARMAGEDDON! I MISSED THE RAPTURE! PUTIN IS ATTACKING!
Wait… hold up for a second, relax. Don’t freak out just yet.
Is it maybe possible that you and your vintage Volvo station wagon with the Flux Capacitor just somehow traveled back in time to my neighborhood in 1988?
If this is the case, then don’t worry. It’s not Putin.
It’s just me and my friends, and they’re just BB guns. We left our real ones at home today. Maybe tomorrow.
We are on our way to the woods behind your house to play war and shoot at each other.
It’s ok don’t worry. You’re safe, and we’ll try not to shoot your windows or each other’s eyes out. But I can’t promise ya.
Let the real Hunger Games begin. 😎
Ok… enough with the time travel. Let me really take you back to 1988.
Often on the weekends, all the guys in my neighborhood would get together in the woods and play war or capture the flag. Usually we would have around 10 people on a team and there was normally like 40 or more of us.
Everyone had BB guns. And many were high-powered pump rifles.
We had a 3-pump rule and no shooting in the face or manhood.
But those rules weren’t always followed. Luckily though, no one ever lost an eye, but many got wounded and ended up digging BB’s and pellet shrapnel out from under their skin.
And I’m willing to bet that still today some guys have trouble going through the metal detectors at airports. lol
Seriously though, it was no joke man. It was intense. Fight or flight. All-out survival. People were trying to literally freaking hurt you… shoot you and make you bleed. You had to play smart. Lol
Labor Day looks different this year as I prep for an unexpected surgery tomorrow. Plus, guest author Bryan Loia Hudson shares his feral cat rescue journey.
I’m not a big commenter here on WordPress, but sometimes I do. And with some of you, my comment doesn’t show up on your post. Instead, it ends up in your spam bin, folder, or whatever you call it.
It’s becoming apparent to me that many of you don’t realize this is happening or even know about your spam section.
I’ve learned to check mine weekly, and usually, every week or two, I’ll find your comments sitting in there. Then I simply click “Approve,” and they go to their rightful place.
Also, comments in your spam folder are automatically deleted after a while.
So, if you’ve never checked yours, there’s no telling how many you’ve missed.
There are some of you who occasionally comment on my stuff, and once in a while, I’ll do the same with you, but you never see them because they’re sitting in your spam folder.
So yeah… check your spam. You might be missing more than you realize. Also check pending ones.
I have a lot of stories about my life still left to write, so I’m taking a break from my weekly Hidden Gems From The B-Side posts and the Friday Hank Jr. posts I’ve been doing.
At some point I’ll return to them. Eventually, I think I’ll move on from Hank Jr. and maybe do Bob Dylan next. And maybe in the future I’ll do some more of the Shakespeare & Me & Guest ones too.
Right now, though, I want to get some of my life stories written down so I’ll have them for my memoir down the road.
Oh, also… I have some of my song recordings from the bathroom that I would consider bloopers or just funny moments, and I plan on doing a special limited edition post. A lot of these were recorded before I ever decided to post them here. Most of them were just ones I did and sent to different friends and stuff in texts, just goofing off, trying to be funny, or just making funny mistakes while practicing or experimenting.
And to give you an idea of the atmosphere of how I record, I go into my little small bathroom and shut the door behind me. I either sit on the toilet or on a little stool that I have. I open my audio app, then sit my phone down on a roll of toilet paper on a small shelf above the toilet. Then I grab my guitar, press record, sit down, and whatever happens happens.
But I’ll be sharing these.
I can’t tell you how much I appreciate you and your support, also. I’m honored to be here on WordPress with you, and I love reading your blog. It helps me.
What’s the bravest thing you’ve ever done when no one was watching?
I’m not sure this is the bravest thing. I have some better ones I could write about but this just came to mind, a memory I had almost forgotten.
When I was young, growing up in Georgia, there was a beautiful 10 acre lake way back up in the woods behind my house. My birthday is in September, so I believe I was 13 at the time, about to turn 14.
Anyways, the lake was full of big bass and huge bluegill. Me and my friends spent many a day fishing it and sometimes swimming, but we had to be careful because it had its share of venomous water moccasin snakes, aka the Cottonmouth. I mentioned these in my earlier post on snakes, but if you got bit, there was no one around to help you and no way to call 911.
So one hot and humid summer day I borrowed my neighbor’s 12 foot aluminum jon boat. It was just what you call a blank hull. It had no motor or extras or seats except for bench type seating made into the body. It was as plain Jane as they come. It was also fairly lightweight as boats go and it had a long rope tied to the bow of it.
My friends and I would get 2 or sometimes 3 of us to a side and tote it with our fishing gear laid inside it, then walk the 45 minutes through the woods on the trails to get to the lake, stopping occasionally to rest.
So yeah, that particular day we made it to the lake, we put the boat in the water, paddled out and started fishing.
We didn’t care about life jackets in them days. They were for lil kids. We were grown ass men. Might as well have arm floaties on 😎😁
I remember the fish not biting that day, probably because it was so hot. After a while my friends got tired of fishing and began to joke around, goof off, act like dummies and started rocking the boat. Long story short, the boat filled with water then flipped and went under, so we all grabbed what we could and swam to shore. And we weren’t like panicked or anything, we were cool. It was no big deal. I had my rod and reel and my tacklebox in hand and still managed to make it, at times swimming on my back.
I remember I was pissed though because I had borrowed the boat and I was responsible for it. They didn’t really give a shit. They all ended up going home, but I stayed because another friend from a neighborhood on the other side of the woods was supposed to meet me there later that afternoon. Of course, we didn’t have cell phones back then, so I had no way of contacting him. I decided to hang out and wait.
I started back fishing from shore. As I looked out across the water, I noticed something. It looked like the very top tip of the boat was sticking out of the water. Then I realized it hadn’t sunk all the way.
I was so happy to see this and that it wasn’t at the bottom. I knew that long rope was still attached to it, so I thought if I could get to that, then maybe there was a chance to save it and pull the boat in.
I figured maybe it was somewhat buoyant being just a lightweight empty hull. Also, possibly it had some air or something trapped in it. I don’t know.
So I took my shoes and shirt off and got in the water and swam to the boat. It was a good ways out, probably 40 or 50 yards.
Did I mention I’m a great swimmer? Not to brag or anything but it is what it is for this story. 😁
Oh and also, there was absolutely no one around to save me if I got in trouble.
But I had to try. I didn’t want to have to look my neighbor in the eye later and tell him what happened.
So I made it to the exposed part of the bow and grabbed on and kind of rested for a spell. I was also able to tell that the boat was at a good angle and just sitting there about 4 feet under the water at the stern.
After I chilled for a few and regained some strength, I found the rope and pulled on the boat some and it began to move.
Ok I got this… here we go. Get ready, let’s give it a go and see what happens.
So I started swimming like a human tugboat. It was tough and it remained partially submerged, but I made it back to shore… with the boat, mind you. I was exhausted but never for a moment did I feel like I was in danger of going under. But if that boat went under, then my ass would really be in danger.
It was a great way to end a day of fishing.
Hey deddy… guess what? I caught a 12 footer today! You should have seen it!
And what can I say? Not too bad for a 13 year old Gen X kid, alone by himself in the middle of nowhere, in the middle of a lake with a half sunken neighbor’s boat. 🤷♂️
What’s the weirdest coincidence you’ve ever experienced?
I probably shouldn’t tell this story, but I am.
Years ago, in the mid-90s, I was in my early 20s and my friend’s band played weekly at a local nightclub on the southside of Atlanta. Occasionally, I’d go hang out and watch the show, and sometimes he’d ask me to come up and do a song or two.
Well, one night I met this older woman. She came up to me and was telling me how much she liked my song, and we ended up talking for awhile about music and stuff. We had some drinks, and later that night I ended up going back to her place.
She told me she used to be a pastor’s wife and that she was recently divorced. I went home the following morning, and that was the last time I ever saw her.
Okay, let’s fast forward to about 2oO4.
I had met a new friend. He was an older guy, but we hit it off, and he was friends with the owner of the sports bar where I played weekly. I’d known him for a few months, and sometimes I’d go over to his house and chill, or we’d go to other bars.
One night, he and his girlfriend came and picked me up, and we went back to her place. As we turned into the apartment complex where she lived, I was like, “Hmm… these look familiar.”
Then it all came back to me.
I realized it was the same ones where the older woman I’d met years earlier had lived.
Then I saw the exact apartment.
So I started telling my friend and his girlfriend the story. I told them about the woman, how I met her, that she said she was a former pastor’s wife, and that I spent that one night with her and never saw her again.
Everyone got super quiet after I finished.
Then my friend goes, “Hey honey, didn’t you used to live in that apartment? And you used to be a preacher’s wife too?”
Dead silence.
And now I’m like…
“Ooo geees.”
She glanced back at me, and that’s when I realized it was her.
Shortly after that, we arrived at her place. It was a different apartment in the same complex where she lived now, but we all went inside and hung out.
The summer of 2oO6, not long after I got back from the crossroads, I left Atlanta with the clothes on my back and moved out to Dallas Texas, to live with a friend and start a new life.
I took a job driving 18 wheelers with FedEx Ground, and I ended up training new drivers fresh out of CDL school with zero experience. It was my first time teaching this stuff, and it was actually really rewarding. I have a lot of great stories I could tell you from those days, but I’ll save them for another time.
I want to tell you a different story about another type of truck.
Sometimes on my days off, I’d go down to this little Mexican food truck on the corner from my house. The food was incredible. I mean, it ranks right up there with some of the best Mexican food I’ve ever had.
And the lady who owned the truck and cooked all the food was super beautiful.
I mean drop dead beautiful.
I remember thinking I’d never had anyone more beautiful take my order. I don’t even think I’d ever seen anyone more beautiful before. Maybe I had, but I’d have to really sit down and think about it.
One day I ordered a burrito and sat down at one of the little tables she had set up for her customers.
I got about three bites in when I felt something strange in my mouth.
I stopped chewing.
I was like, WTH?
I reached into my mouth with two fingers and pulled out a long black hair.
And I mean super long.
…
Part of it came out of my mouth, but the rest was still inside the burrito.
So I pulled.
And pulled.
And pulled.
Finally, the whole thing came out.
…
…
Wow.
I just sat there completely blown away.
I couldn’t believe it.
…
I’m so lucky.
…
So obviously I went back the next day and ordered another burrito, hoping for another hair.