My Mother’s Tears

The Eagles – Desperado 🎶 1973

So music means so much to me.. as you’re probably starting to see.. so I heard this song earlier.. and it brought back memories.. i once walked in on my mother.. she was alone and crying.. listening to this song.. turns out this one is special to her.. because it reminds her of me.. it’s the one song she has attached to me.. and I just noticed today.. that it was released the year I was born.. 1973.. something I’ve never noticed… all these years…

Two times in my life.. I’ve caught my mother crying to music.. here are both those songs…

The Eagles – Take It To The Limit 🎶

© Bryan H. 2025 — All Rights Reserved

Fourteen

Long Cold Winter…

When I was fourteen.. my best friend was killed in a dirt-bike accident..
I can’t begin to tell you what it did to me…
Crushed is the only word I have right now..
and even that feels too small..

We were closer than brothers..

After the funeral.. I fell into my bedroom.
That room became my world —
my home inside my home..
I shut down..
Closed myself off..
No access allowed..

Everyone was worried about me..

It felt like I was on a camping trip in the wilderness
alone..
And I stayed there for a whole year..

I needed something…
but I didn’t know what..

I started borrowing CDs and cassette tapes from my uncle..

I found an old tape in a forgotten box in the attic —
Bob Dylan’s Another Side of Bob Dylan…
and I disappeared into it.

rock…
country… blues…
folk…
old…
new…

Hank Williams Jr…
And the only Christian song I even knew back then..
Amazing Grace..

I didn’t just listen —
I drank it..
And the more I drank..
the thirstier I got..
So I went swimming in it..
Something I still do..

Meanwhile.. God was walking the edges of me…

One night.. I awoke from a dream that wouldn’t let go…
and there in the corner of my room
was a silhouette.. shaped like a guitar..

my mother was so worried about me
she didn’t know what else to do..
So she bought me an acoustic guitar..
And one night.. while I was sleeping…
she placed it right where I would see it.. the moment I opened my eyes..

and so I took it

I played it…
and I played it…
and I played it…

until my fingers bled

until it started playing me..

I learned it —
taught myself —
until it learned me back..

Song after song..
Day after day.. night after night…
Month after month..
From the fall of 1988
into the winter of 1989..

I played it…..

until it became my heartbeat..

And finally…

after a year in the wilderness…

I emerged from my room..

ready to face my giants…

of the 90’s…

First song i ever learned on guitar 👇

I had many songs embedded in this story.. but it was causing it to load super slow.. so I deleted most of them…

My Friend Joey’
Me`

Psalm 34:18 (NKJV)

“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted..
and saves those who are crushed in spirit…”

© 2025–2026 Bryan Loia Hudson (bryanforchrist). All rights reserved.

`’.,°~