Long Cold Winter…
When I was fourteen.. my best friend was killed in a dirt-bike accident..
I can’t begin to tell you what it did to me…
Crushed is the only word I have right now..
and even that feels too small..
We were closer than brothers..
After the funeral.. I fell into my bedroom.
That room became my world —
my home inside my home..
I shut down..
Closed myself off..
No access allowed..
Everyone was worried about me..
It felt like I was on a camping trip in the wilderness
alone..
And I stayed there for a whole year..
I needed something…
but I didn’t know what..
I started borrowing CDs and cassette tapes from my uncle..
I found an old tape in a forgotten box in the attic —
Bob Dylan’s Another Side of Bob Dylan…
and I disappeared into it.
rock…
country… blues…
folk…
old…
new…
Hank Williams Jr…
And the only Christian song I even knew back then..
Amazing Grace..
I didn’t just listen —
I drank it..
And the more I drank..
the thirstier I got..
So I went swimming in it..
Something I still do..
Meanwhile.. God was walking the edges of me…
One night.. I awoke from a dream that wouldn’t let go…
and there in the corner of my room
was a silhouette.. shaped like a guitar..
my mother was so worried about me
she didn’t know what else to do..
So she got me an acoustic guitar..
And one night.. while I was sleeping…
she placed it right where I would see it.. the moment I opened my eyes..
and so I took it
I played it…
and I played it…
and I played it…
until my fingers bled
until it started playing me..
I learned it —
taught myself —
until it learned me back..
Song after song..
Day after day.. night after night…
Month after month..
From the fall of 1988
into the winter of 1989..
I played it…..
until it became my heartbeat..
And finally…
after a year in the wilderness…
I emerged from my room..
ready to face my giants…
…
of the 90’s…
…
…
…
First song i ever learned on guitar 👇
I had many songs embedded in this story.. but it was causing it to load super slow.. so I deleted most of them…
Psalm 34:18 (NKJV)
“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted..
and saves those who are crushed in spirit…”
© 2025–2026 Bryan Loia Hudson (bryanforchrist). All rights reserved.
`’.,°~
Nicely written!
thank you brother… I’m just seeing this comment.. not sure how I missed it.. my apologies…
Wow – I can not imagine losing my best friend at 14.
Think your response is as good as can be expected…
A lot of great songs there and a bunch I’ve never heard, will work my way through them.
Hello 🙂 ty’ for taking time to read it.. yes it was one of my toughest times.. it wore me out just writing it lol… initially.. my plan was just to add a handful of songs.. but I started listening to many of them again.. and the memories started coming in like a flood.. and I ended up adding lots.. too many probably haha.. anyways.. ty again for your comment.. take care
so touching…
Thank you dearly… I’m happy it touched you 🙂
Most Respected reader/ Fellow writer, despite a two liner, you did favour of liking my post today, No. How to repay the debt? I will rewrite the same post & always write elaborately.
Prof Dr Raj or just Raj. 💖❤️💓💛
Hello Dr. Raj.. thank you for stopping by.. it’s good to see.. you owe me nothing.. the privilege of reading your fine work is my reward 😎`.°~ I look forward to your future posts
Dear Loia
Thank you.. I really appreciate it..
Thank you.. I appreciate it
Appreciate the effort put into this. It’s always good to see quality content.
Thank you… that means so much to me… I appreciate…
Well written and engaging. A pleasure to read from start to finish.
Thank you dearly… means much to me… I appreciate you…
hi bryan, it’s Selene, such a touching story, brings back memories for me. I experienced something similar. you have a way with making me feel your words. that’s a gift
Thank you Selene.. I’m grateful the story resonated with you..
I know we say we can’t express in words or can’t begin to get across what we are thinking or feeling. But there is such a richness here in your narrative, poetic work that does so much and so well to tell us what happened and what your journey became, after. I’m sorry for the death of your friend. I’m sorry for the loss to be endured on Earth. But you’ve effectively express for yourself and anyone else what you went through, what we go through.
Thank you… truly. Some things don’t leave… they just learn how to live quieter in us… writing helps me let them breathe… I’m grateful it reached you.
Very moving. How wonderful that you found such a positive way to express your grief.
Thank you. Indeed, it was a God thing, and I’m grateful.
Touched by your story. “Loved with an everlasting love.” Jer. 31:3
Oh I’m so glad it did and thank you so much for the scripture. I know it very well but needed the reminder. Thank you thank you
I just read your verse narrative again, enjoying it even more. One line especially drew me in–about God walking the edges of you. God is not likely to invade but rather wait for our invitation. But that doesn’t mean God’s not around and wanting us to accept each other and start a life together. I think you do a great job depicting this situation. The silhouette of the guitar catches me, too.
Oh wow. Thank you for coming back to it again. That’s so cool. Yeah I’m totally with you on that. At the time I couldn’t see God so much in what was going on with me. But now that I’m older and have a relationship with Him, I can definitely see that He was there in these times and I can see clearly now what He was doing. Thank you again friend.
Thanks brother! I’m glad you enjoyed it.
This was such a sad story 😭 I’m sorry for your loss of your friend but it just goes to show you that God loves us all and He doesn’t like to see us suffer or hurt. Your mom buying that guitar. It just all came together because only really gifted people can play an instrument without being taught and I truly believe that was His gift to you so you could express yourself through. And your brother is amongst the angels now praising the Lord. I felt your pain as you shared your story and you are living proof of 1 Corinthians 10:13. Thank you for sharing
Thank you very much. 😊🙏. I always appreciate you sharing. It all worked out for the good in my life.