Posted on by loia

Fourteen

Long Cold Winter…

When I was fourteen.. my best friend was killed in a dirt-bike accident..
I can’t begin to tell you what it did to me…
Crushed is the only word I have right now..
and even that feels too small..

We were closer than brothers..

After the funeral.. I fell into my bedroom.
That room became my world —
my home inside my home..
I shut down..
Closed myself off..
No access allowed..

Everyone was worried about me..

It felt like I was on a camping trip in the wilderness
alone..
And I stayed there for a whole year..

I needed something…
but I didn’t know what..

I started borrowing CDs and cassette tapes from my uncle..

I found an old tape in a forgotten box in the attic —
Bob Dylan’s Another Side of Bob Dylan…
and I disappeared into it.

rock…
country… blues…
folk…
old…
new…

Hank Williams Jr…
And the only Christian song I even knew back then..
Amazing Grace..

I didn’t just listen —
I drank it..
And the more I drank..
the thirstier I got..
So I went swimming in it..
Something I still do..

Meanwhile.. God was walking the edges of me…

One night.. I awoke from a dream that wouldn’t let go…
and there in the corner of my room
was a silhouette.. shaped like a guitar..

my mother was so worried about me
she didn’t know what else to do..
So she bought me an acoustic guitar..
And one night.. while I was sleeping…
she placed it right where I would see it.. the moment I opened my eyes..

and so I took it

I played it…
and I played it…
and I played it…

until my fingers bled

until it started playing me..

I learned it —
taught myself —
until it learned me back..

Song after song..
Day after day.. night after night…
Month after month..
From the fall of 1988
into the winter of 1989..

I played it…..

until it became my heartbeat..

And finally…

after a year in the wilderness…

I emerged from my room..

ready to face my giants…

…

of the 90’s…

…

…

…

First song i ever learned on guitar 👇

I had many songs embedded in this story.. but it was causing it to load super slow.. so I deleted most of them…

My Friend Joey’
Me`

Psalm 34:18 (NKJV)

“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted..
and saves those who are crushed in spirit…”

© 2025–2026 Bryan Loia Hudson (bryanforchrist). All rights reserved.

`’.,°~

19 Replies to “Fourteen”

    1. Hello 🙂 ty’ for taking time to read it.. yes it was one of my toughest times.. it wore me out just writing it lol… initially.. my plan was just to add a handful of songs.. but I started listening to many of them again.. and the memories started coming in like a flood.. and I ended up adding lots.. too many probably haha.. anyways.. ty again for your comment.. take care

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  4. Most Respected reader/ Fellow writer, despite a two liner, you did favour of liking my post today, No. How to repay the debt? I will rewrite the same post & always write elaborately.
    Prof Dr Raj or just Raj. 💖❤️💓💛

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    1. Hello Dr. Raj.. thank you for stopping by.. it’s good to see.. you owe me nothing.. the privilege of reading your fine work is my reward 😎`.°~ I look forward to your future posts

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  11. hi bryan, it’s Selene, such a touching story, brings back memories for me. I experienced something similar. you have a way with making me feel your words. that’s a gift

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  12. I know we say we can’t express in words or can’t begin to get across what we are thinking or feeling. But there is such a richness here in your narrative, poetic work that does so much and so well to tell us what happened and what your journey became, after. I’m sorry for the death of your friend. I’m sorry for the loss to be endured on Earth. But you’ve effectively express for yourself and anyone else what you went through, what we go through.

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