I’ve had some kind words over the years… but one stands above the rest…
It came through a window…
Back in the late 90s… I was living in a little downstairs apartment outside Atlanta… just me… a guitar… and a lot going on in life…
Most nights I’d sit by that open window and play… sing… pour it all out…
What I didn’t know…
Was that someone was listening…
There was a girl in the neighborhood… and for about a month… she would come by at night… lean up against the outside of my building… just out of sight…
And listen…
She told me later… she’d wait, hoping I’d be there… that my songs helped her get through things she was dealing with…
That she would just stand there… breathing it in… and for a little while…
She could forget her life…
One night… she finally said hello…
And I’ll never forget all the things she said to me…
That my music gave her peace… even if just for a moment…
I’ve never had a better compliment than that…
Not applause… not praise…
Just knowing that something coming out of my heart… reached someone else’s…
Yesterday, the Lord dealt with me all day about writing short stories in the future.
He reminded me of a time when I was about 10 years old. I shot and killed a bluebird that was resting on a clothesline. I was so sad. I held it in my hands, crying.
I took it to my mother, thinking we could save it — but it was too late.
Yesterday, God brought that moment back to my mind.
And He gave me an idea for a story… how that bird could represent Christ dying for me.
He also gave me the title
Soft Blued Kings
I spent three hours last night just trying to write the opening sentence. With His help, this is what I came up with
Way up in a lone Georgia pine, proud were the wings of two — a bird of a father, a son true blue.
This story will take some time.
I’m going to take it slow… and allow the Lord to help me write every bit of it.
It will be my first short story like this, and maybe the first of many.
Since I was a little boy—with flaming red hair—a face full of freckles—I have always been a dreamer… As life’s bullet train has sped through my night… my freckles have faded… blended… my hair has darkened from that fiery red—to something older… But my dreams… They have never faded… They are still alive…
Sleep is not rest for me— It is assignment… It is battlefield… When I close my eyes at night— I am not drifting off… I am clocking in… For a fight…
Since childhood—storms call my name… Not gently… But roaring… spinning… Tearing open my sky… Hurricanes… tornadoes… I have stood in both—right in the heart of them—more than once… They do not push me back… They pull me in… I do not run from storms— I run toward them… I am a storm chaser…
Yet in my dreams—the rules reverse…
In my dreams—the storms chase me…
For fifty years—I have had the same recurring dream… Hundreds of times… Tornado dreams… Always different… yet always the same… Tornadoes spinning on every horizon… Coming for me… Hunting me… Running me down… They never quite catch me— But they drive me forward… They harden my legs… They make me stronger…
Yet…
It would be great just to rest sometimes… Catch a break in my night… Lay down my sword… Take off my armor… No courage… No strength… Just sleep… Just sleep… Just sleep…
So music means so much to me.. as you’re probably starting to see.. so I heard this song earlier.. and it brought back memories.. i once walked in on my mother.. she was alone and crying.. listening to this song.. turns out this one is special to her.. because it reminds her of me.. it’s the one song she has attached to me.. and I just noticed today.. that it was released the year I was born.. 1973.. something I’ve never noticed… all these years…
Two times in my life.. I’ve caught my mother crying to music.. here are both those songs…
When I was fourteen.. my best friend was killed in a dirt-bike accident.. I can’t begin to tell you what it did to me… Crushed is the only word I have right now.. and even that feels too small..
We were closer than brothers..
After the funeral.. I fell into my bedroom. That room became my world — my home inside my home.. I shut down.. Closed myself off.. No access allowed..
Everyone was worried about me..
It felt like I was on a camping trip in the wilderness alone.. And I stayed there for a whole year..
I needed something… but I didn’t know what..
I started borrowing CDs and cassette tapes from my uncle..
I found an old tape in a forgotten box in the attic — Bob Dylan’s Another Side of Bob Dylan… and I disappeared into it.
rock… country… blues… folk… old… new…
Hank Williams Jr… And the only Christian song I even knew back then.. Amazing Grace..
I didn’t just listen — I drank it.. And the more I drank.. the thirstier I got.. So I went swimming in it.. Something I still do..
Meanwhile.. God was walking the edges of me…
One night.. I awoke from a dream that wouldn’t let go… and there in the corner of my room was a silhouette.. shaped like a guitar..
my mother was so worried about me she didn’t know what else to do.. So she bought me an acoustic guitar.. And one night.. while I was sleeping… she placed it right where I would see it.. the moment I opened my eyes..
and so I took it
I played it… and I played it… and I played it…
until my fingers bled
until it started playing me..
I learned it — taught myself — until it learned me back..
Song after song.. Day after day.. night after night… Month after month.. From the fall of 1988 into the winter of 1989..
I played it…..
until it became my heartbeat..
And finally…
after a year in the wilderness…
I emerged from my room..
ready to face my giants…
…
of the 90’s…
…
…
…
First song i ever learned on guitar 👇
I had many songs embedded in this story.. but it was causing it to load super slow.. so I deleted most of them…
My Friend Joey’Me`
Psalm 34:18 (NKJV)
“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted.. and saves those who are crushed in spirit…”
I want to take a moment to explain what I’m doing here on this blog…
First and above all… I love Jesus — 110%… But I also used to be lost.. and I never want to forget that.. My past lets me relate to anyone who shows up here.. Everything I’ve walked through — the struggles.. the mistakes.. the victories.. the faith — it all shaped who I am today…
And I’ve decided I’m not hiding any of it..
This blog is going to show all of me..
who I was…
who I am now…
and who I’m becoming…
I’m going to pour it out and not hold back..
My ministry is BryanForChrist.. and it reaches far beyond one place.. It includes..
my YouTube channel…
my Grow account…
my WhatsApp ministry…
my mission work in the Philippines.. Singapore.. Argentina.. and now Uganda..
and my ongoing connections with churches and ministries across Florida..
And now here also…
There’s a lot happening — but it all comes down to one mission… reaching people who need hope… listening to them… talking to them… loving them… all of them…
I’m going to do that by being myself… My secular side.. my life side.. my faith side.. my Christian heart — it all lives here together…..
So this blog is different.. than my other things going on.. I feel this is my angle of approach.. unique to here…
And trust me…
it’s going to work… I hope 😄… nah just kidding… it will be fine… 😁… regardless though… It will be me… 😎…..,t`¡-<³… ☝️
If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?
…….<3~↗🌴↗~’
If I could live anywhere in the world.. I believe I would choose the Philippines…
I’ve been blessed to travel a bit — Singapore.. Argentina.. the Philippines — mostly through missionary work.. But something about the Philippines💥just stayed with me… The people there are warm.. kind.. joyful.. and welcoming in a way that’s hard to explain but impossible to forget …..🇵🇭
It’s a place that felt like home the moment I arrived… and if I could live anywhere… that’s where I’d go ….💥
I’m still strongly connected to the people there today… and will always be… I message on whatsapp often with my friends there… also.. my ex-girlfriend is Filipino… she and I were together for like five or so years… she taught me much💥about life.. culture.. and the language.. today we are just good friends …💥
I almost forgot to mention how stunningly beautiful it is there… the mountains… the beaches… unlike any other…
“”Sana’y maging maganda ang araw n’yo ngayon…””…….~+†+~’
Heart of Loia `'.,°~ 