If you didn’t need sleep, what would you do with all the extra time?
When I saw this prompt question… it brought back many memories of my past… my drug days…
I went without much in those years… including sleep…
I was reminded of the time I stayed awake for 18 days… so I started thinking on it… and googling… and reading…
Apparently.. the Guinness World Record for staying awake is 11 days and 25 minutes… so yeah… I shattered that record… but I’m guessing that guy didn’t have any help from stimulants lol…
Through more reading… I learned that being awake 18 days is hanging right on the edge of death…
Guess I’m really blessed and fortunate… because there were numerous times I would be awake around 10 days or more even.. I actually beat the world record many times… nothing to be proud of…
I am so grateful and thankful to God… that I made it through those times… and I am not the same today…
Death waited at the door… but it did not win… I walked back out of those days… changed… and still breathing…
Honestly I don’t really have “pet peeves” anymore.. Ever since I started walking closer with God.. most of the little annoyances I used to care about just… lost their power..
If anything bothers me now it’s only the things that try and steal my joy.. that pull me away from peace.. faith.. or clouds the love I’m trying to live by..
And besides.. I have an ocean to overcome right now.. so I don’t have time to be peeving..
All Around the World — Justin Bieber (Acoustic)👇💯☝️⚘️🏳💥🎶❤️🔥😎`-¡-`~~~ ¡`°
Animals are great.. they can be your best buddy.. your worst nightmare.. or a sandwich.. it just depends on which one you choose.. they’re diverse like that.. I’ve experienced them as all three.. I think I prefer them as friend or food.. The animal I’m about to tell you about can be either of the three…
So the squirrel isn’t my favorite animal.. but I’ve got some cool stories.. I’ve had a few as pets over the years.. and I’ve had dealings with them many times.. I once had like five babies at the same time.. it was overwhelming.. so I took them and dropped them off at a veterinarian’s office.. and said “here.. you can have these” haha…
My first ever experience with a squirrel was a memorable one.. I ended up giving her a name.. “Peanut..” She was a special little thing.. she became my buddy.. and part of my family.. One day.. I was outside.. I just happened to look down as I walked.. and there was this small baby squirrel.. I stopped and just observed.. I didn’t want to touch it.. because I wasn’t sure if maybe the mama wouldn’t come back for it.. and I didn’t want to leave my scent.. Then she started coming to me.. and to my surprise.. she climbed up my pants leg and into my arms.. and it was over.. my heart was won…
I’ve been thinking about the way I write… People probably know by now that I don’t use big.. fancy words.. It’s not because I can’t… I just don’t feel right doing it.. That’s not how I talk in real life — so why would I try to sound that way on the page?
And even though I don’t use fancy words in my stories… I still love words.. All of them.. Simple ones… complex ones… everything in between.. I’m always growing my vocabulary — I just don’t force it into my storytelling.. And who knows… maybe once in awhile I’ll go all out — and try to impress you… haha..
When I tell a story… my story… I want the feel to be like I’m right there with you… Just talking… just being me.. If I start dressing it up with words I’d never say out loud — then it’s not my story anymore… it turns into something else.
So I keep it simple… I keep it honest… I keep it the way it comes out of my mouth…
And maybe one day I’ll throw in a “fancy” word or two just to mess with you… but it’ll be rare… and you’ll know it when you see it…
Because I’m after your heart… not your applause…
I’m not randomly doing things here… things are done purposely… I have a plan… and you are the most important part of it…
(Ps.. I also don’t like commas or single periods. 😁)
In 2012.. I was running on spiritual fumes.. living and working down in Florida.. driving an 18-wheeler and hauling orange juice concentrate.. Most days I’d head down to the seaports.. wait for the massive container ships from Brazil.. then hook to a bulk tank and run it to one of the orange juice factories scattered across the state..
One day.. I was rolling down a long.. deserted.. country road in the middle of nowhere when something big.. black.. and winged shot across my path and smacked the front of my truck with violent force..
It happened so fast I couldn’t tell what kind of bird it was.. I just prayed it wasn’t a bald eagle—there were plenty of them in that area.. Whatever it was.. I knew it had to be dead.. No way anything could survive the hit I felt.. My anxiety climbed as I pulled over and walked to the front of the truck.. preparing myself for the worst..
But when I looked down.. lodged in an open section near the bottom of the grille.. was a huge black vulture—one of the largest I’d ever seen.. And it was still alive..
For a few moments.. I just stood there.. trying to process what I was seeing.. The bird was incredibly calm and strangely quiet.. It looked right at me with an expression I can only describe as.. “Please help me…”
There was no way I was going to grab this thing bare-handed.. I was certain it would lash out with its beak.. So I found a big stick on the side of the road and tried to pry it loose.. No luck.. The bird was wedged tight.. and part of it was pressed against the radiator—which was extremely hot.. I knew time wasn’t on its side..
I kept trying with one hand on the stick and one on a wing.. but it wasn’t working.. I was starting to make it worse..
Eventually.. I realized the truth.. I was going to have to pick this thing up with both hands..
Fear hit me hard… But I also knew I didn’t have a choice..
So I took a breath.. Said a small prayer.. Had myself a quiet ellipsis moment haha.. Then reached in..
I put both hands on the bird.. To my surprise.. it stayed gentle—completely calm.. completely trusting.. Its eyes were locked on me.. almost talking.. It knew I was trying to help.. As my fear faded.. a strange confidence grew.. I grabbed all over its body.. trying to find the angle to free it.. At one point.. I even had my hands around its neck and head.. carefully working it loose..
Finally.. with one good pull.. the vulture came free..
I lifted it high in my hands.. expecting it to explode into flight—but it didn’t.. It simply rested there…
It had just survived something that should have killed it.. and it needed a moment to breathe.. The amazing thing was… it wasn’t even injured.. not a broken wing.. not even a wobble.. nothing…
We stood there together for about a minute—me holding it.. it staring at me.. No fear on either side.. Just this strange wild peace…
Then it looked at me one last time.. as if to say thank you.. turned.. and flew…
I climbed back into my truck and drove on.. replaying the moment in my mind.. I still can’t believe it survived the impact.. Not only survived it—walked away completely fine…
And then the old saying hit me.. “Tough as an old buzzard…”
Now I understand where that phrase came from… those birds are built like tanks.. And on that day.. something wild trusted me — enough to rest in my hands… an indelible memory…
Wow… i just googled ‘tough as an old buzzard.’ to see how it came about.. I knew none of this…
(Where it comes from) The phrase “tough as an old buzzard” grew out of american frontier language in the 1800s.. early 1900s.. People on ranches.. homesteads.. and in desert regions watched buzzards (vultures) survive things almost nothing else could survive.. blistering heat.. drought.. storms.. rotten food.. injuries.. and just plain rough living.. Why a buzzard specifically? Because vultures/buzzards are famously hard to kill………… Cowboys and farmers noticed that even old.. beat-up buzzards still lived incredibly long and stayed sharp.. Their survival was legendary…
It all makes sense to me now 😁
And I relate……….. I’m also famously hard to kill 😁.. but that’s another story for another day… 😎`
When I was fourteen.. my best friend was killed in a dirt-bike accident.. I can’t begin to tell you what it did to me… Crushed is the only word I have right now.. and even that feels too small..
We were closer than brothers..
After the funeral.. I fell into my bedroom. That room became my world — my home inside my home.. I shut down.. Closed myself off.. No access allowed..
Everyone was worried about me..
It felt like I was on a camping trip in the wilderness alone.. And I stayed there for a whole year..
I needed something… but I didn’t know what..
I started borrowing CDs and cassette tapes from my uncle..
I found an old tape in a forgotten box in the attic — Bob Dylan’s Another Side of Bob Dylan… and I disappeared into it.
rock… country… blues… folk… old… new…
Hank Williams Jr… And the only Christian song I even knew back then.. Amazing Grace..
I didn’t just listen — I drank it.. And the more I drank.. the thirstier I got.. So I went swimming in it.. Something I still do..
Meanwhile.. God was walking the edges of me…
One night.. I awoke from a dream that wouldn’t let go… and there in the corner of my room was a silhouette.. shaped like a guitar..
my mother was so worried about me she didn’t know what else to do.. So she bought me an acoustic guitar.. And one night.. while I was sleeping… she placed it right where I would see it.. the moment I opened my eyes..
and so I took it
I played it… and I played it… and I played it…
until my fingers bled
until it started playing me..
I learned it — taught myself — until it learned me back..
Song after song.. Day after day.. night after night… Month after month.. From the fall of 1988 into the winter of 1989..
I played it…..
until it became my heartbeat..
And finally…
after a year in the wilderness…
I emerged from my room..
ready to face my giants…
…
of the 90’s…
…
…
…
First song i ever learned on guitar 👇
I had many songs embedded in this story.. but it was causing it to load super slow.. so I deleted most of them…
My Friend Joey’Me`
Psalm 34:18 (NKJV)
“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted.. and saves those who are crushed in spirit…”
For most of my life.. I’ve been strong and healthy.. Then about a year and a half ago.. my health crashed hard.. This past year has been rough… sickness.. weakness.. doctors searching for answers — but lately I’ve been getting stronger day by day..
Six months ago.. things hit the worst point..
I was deathly sick and went to the ER.. They ran tests.. Two doctors walked in with that look on their faces — the look that says everything before a word is spoken..
“We think it’s cancer.”
They told me there were spots on my pancreas… liver… kidneys… and when something shows up on multiple organs.. red flags go up immediately.. doctors assume the worst.. To them.. it looked like cancer that had already spread..
But me? I was calm..
Not because I’m fearless — but because I had a promise from above that I’d live a long life.. I knew it wasn’t my time.. And I also knew they can’t call anything “cancer” until a biopsy confirms it.. honestly.. even if it were cancer.. I’d still react calmly.. because I’m ready to go home whenever…
I was admitted to the hospital.. and while I waited for results.. everyone — doctors.. nurses.. all treated me like it was cancer.. even my patient chart said it’s cancer.. cancer.. cancer.. cancer… everywhere cancer… One nurse introduced me to another by saying….
“This is Bryan… he has pancreatic cancer.”
I looked up and said.. “No ma’am.. I don’t have cancer.. And the tests results aren’t even back yet…”
Everybody around me braced for the worst.. I held on to faith… I wasn’t signing my name on something that didn’t belong to me…
Not today. Not ever.
“Don’t put that evil on me.. Ricky Bobby..” I joked……….. (They tried to curse me — I wasn’t having it 😄…)
And then the results came in..
Everything was benign… No cancer… Doctors scratching their heads because they were almost certain… Me smiling.. because I already knew..
God kept His word to me. And I’m still here — living.. growing.. healing.. getting stronger every day..
If you’re facing something scary.. remember this.. Doctors have knowledge.. God has the final say……
And He’s not done with me yet.
Also… if you’re reading this….. He’s not done with you either…..
Heart of Loia `'.,°~ 