What’s a fear you’ve overcome — and how did you do it?
This is my first ever blog… ¡ started it back in November of last year… one reason was to help make it easier for me when ¡ get ready to write my first ever book… about my life…
¡ know fear
It knows me
¡ve been at war with it since the 90s
And newsflash
¡m winning
¡ always knew ¡ would
¡ do not give up
And ¡ do not give in
There’s been many dim lit days… dark nights… where it appeared though it had me.
But fear’s power is one that is borrowed
Borrowed from me
So ¡ve learned not to fuel it
…
All ¡ know… is what it did take to make this
All ¡ am… is what it will take… to break this
…
On a lighter note
Let’s talk about something a little more relatable
Spiders.
Big effin’ huge ones.
So ¡ve always been scared of them in the past… like fearful…
And I’m an outdoorsman haha
¡m not scared of much
Like snakes for example
Even poisonous ones ¡ will catch and hold carefully…
They don’t bother me at all
But spiders had my number
Until the summer of 2o1O
That’s when ¡ finally dealt with it
¡ was living and working at a Christian men’s drug rehab in Florida
It was a long-term treatment program
The guys lived there for 18 months
¡ was the resident director and lived in the same house with them
Well… the pastor that ran it wanted me to have my own place separate from everyone
So he purchased a used fifth-wheel camper trailer and we set it up out back on the ten-acre property
Hold up…
Let me back up a lil
The property had a lot of spiders
Florida has a lot of spiders lol
We would find them in the men’s residence all the time
Come to find out… they are called Huntsman spiders
And they are enormous and intimidating… most as big as your hand.
Ok… back to the story…
The camper had some type of hole somewhere underneath the frame
And shortly after ¡ moved in
So did all my long-legged, hairy little roommates
They would crawl on me while ¡ was sleeping
¡d wake up and they would be on… the ceiling… the walls… the floor… just all over
¡ went to put my bedroom shoes on once…
And a big one was in there
¡ could feel it on my bare toes
It was frantically moving around trying to get out haha
So like lightning… ¡ pulled my foot out and out it came… then it ran up my leg
These types of things happened often with my new friends
…
¡ didn’t think ¡ could stay
Live here like this
In this place… with them. 😬
…
We searched and searched trying to find how they were getting in
But we never found it
As the days passed
¡ had more encounters
Daily…
Nightly…
Then it occurred to me
¡ had never once been bitten by one
So ¡ did much praying
Asking God to help me get over this fear
And He did
Little by little
¡ got to where it didn’t bother me
¡ even stopped trying to kill them
¡ got to where ¡ could lay in bed at night and read
Even if one was resting on the wall beside me
Sometimes there might be three or four in plain sight in the room at the same time
And it didn’t faze me anymore
…
¡ stayed in that camper for about a year
…
Never once got bit
Not one time
…
There was nothing to fear… ever.
…
…
only something to face.
…
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This is a Huntsman Spider I was told… not a Wolf Spider as me and my friends are calling it in this video…
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For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. — 2 Timothy 1:7
Write the stuff that makes em think you’re the coolness… and sometimes… tell them that they are the coolness too… because truly they are… and truly do both… and truly care about the stuff that truly matters and truly forget the rest… and truly be repetitive with it. Heart Grammar.
If you had an unlimited budget for 24 hours, what would you do?
This prompt reminded me of a story that happened to me years ago…
I was probably 19 or 20 years old. Early ’90s.
My uncle owned a tree cutting and removal company, and every now and then he’d call me if he needed an extra hand. One spring, Atlanta got hit with some nasty weather. High winds came through and left trees down all over the place.
We spent the day working in some of the high-end neighborhoods around Buckhead. On one particular street, there were trees down everywhere. My uncle and I split up and started knocking on doors to see if anyone needed our services.
One property caught my attention.
A massive oak tree had fallen across the front yard. The place was beautiful. A long winding driveway climbed a hill to a huge old house that looked like something out of a movie.
So I made the walk up.
It seemed to take forever.
When I finally got to the front door, I noticed it was open. I stopped for a second and called out.
“Hello? Anybody home?”
Nothing.
I knocked a few times.
Still nothing.
I called out again.
Nothing.
So I leaned my head just inside the doorway.
All the lights were on.
And sitting in the middle of the room was a large table.
Now that was strange enough.
But what was on the table was stranger.
The entire thing was covered in stacks of cash.
Not a few piles.
Stacks and stacks of money.
The table was loaded with it.
To this day I have no idea how much was sitting there, but it was more money than I’d ever seen in one place in my life.
Naturally, all kinds of thoughts started running through my head.
This just isn’t a situation a person finds themselves in very often.
But along with the surprise came a strange feeling that I shouldn’t be there.
Something told me it was time to leave.
So I left.
End of story.
…
As for the prompt itself…
I’d use it to help people who actually need it.
The funny thing is, I can still do this without an unlimited budget.
Over the past 40 years ¡ have been to many concerts and music festivals… both Christian and secular… also ¡’ve performed in some… but two really stick out…
The first was Lollapalooza 1993 Atlanta…
Alice in Chains… Tool… Primus… Rage Against the Machine… and others…
It was insane…
An outdoor concert… bottles and other debris flying through the air constantly… the air was thick with it… and you were always gettin hit with somethin…
People were getting launched into the air on tarps… like some kind of human slingshot trampoline deal… mosh pits everywhere… honestly… it was probably the most dangerous listening experience of my life…
But man… ¡ got to see Layne Staley… and ¡’ll never forget that… RIP my brother…
And here’s the funny part…
¡ didn’t normally smoke weed back then… because honestly… ¡ just can’t handle it…
But that day… my friends talked me into it…
By the time we got to the concert… ¡ was so unbelievably stoned… ¡ couldn’t even move…
So my friends left me in the car… pinned my ticket to my shirt… and went on without me…
About 30 minutes later… ¡ started sobering up a little… ¡ could hear music thunderin in the distance… so ¡ just followed the sound down the street to the outside venue…
Eventually ¡ found the gates… then somehow found my friends… and from there… it was pure chaos and adrenaline the rest of the day…
At one point ¡ remember thinkin…
¡ survived the parking lot… now ¡ have to try and not die during the concert.
…
…
So the second was a really cool thing for me…
Back around 94 or 95… ¡ had a special invite to a private bass clinic put on by Victor Wooten and Steve Bailey…
There were only maybe 25 or 30 of us there… all musicians…
¡ was given two tickets… and you couldn’t buy these things… you had to know somebody…
It was at a secret location… ¡ could tell you… but then ¡’d have to kill you…
But seriously… it was super intimate and awesome… everybody hanging out… talking… asking questions… real relaxed atmosphere… almost like a classroom setting…
And if you’re unfamiliar with Victor and Steve… they are considered among the best bass players in the world… Victor is thought by many to be the very best… Número Uno.
Victor has played with Dave Matthews… Béla Fleck… Stanley Clarke… Chick Corea… Bootsy Collins… Prince… Gov’t Mule… and many more…
Steve was famous for his 6-string fretless bass… and he held a chair at Berklee College of Music… not sure if he still does…
But he also toured and played with… Dizzy Gillespie… Willie Nelson… Jethro Tull… just to name a few…
It was a super badass evening…
They both taught… spoke… answered questions… and played…
My friend Ray Cicola invited me… he’s a phenomenal guitarist and teacher… and his band played a few songs in between everything…
One of em was a really rocked out version of… The Devil Went Down to Georgia by The Charlie Daniels Band…
After it was all over… everybody just stood around hanging out and talking…
¡ remember standing there face to face with both Victor and Steve… just talking music…
Victor had a VHS instructional tape with him… and he gave it to me…
Then he stopped… asked for it back… grabbed a Sharpie… and both he and Steve signed it… then handed it back to me…
Years later… ¡ gifted it to a friend who was a huge Victor fan…
But man… what a night…
It’s the only music clinic like that ¡’ve ever been to.
We didn’t call it camping… that’s what city folks say… when they do it once in a while.
We called it…
the weekend.
…and sometimes in the summer— it was just life.
…
Growing up in Georgia…
I didn’t have to go anywhere—
to find it.
I lived on the edge of thick… deep woods… the kind full of things that could hurt you.
We weren’t scared…
didn’t matter—
we were in there anyway.
Kids… by ourselves… no parents… just dirt… trees… and whatever moved in the shadows.
…
Then there were the weekends…
My friend Chris— his folks had land on Lake Oconee.
Man… we lived out there.
Tents… or just sleeping by the fire…
Fishing… boating… skiing… swimming…
Great times.
…
And when I wasn’t there…
I was with my dad… and my uncle… heading up into the north Georgia mountains… along the Tallulah River.
We’d drive about 15 miles down a narrow gravel road… till we hit the river crossing.
Then we’d drive straight through it.
Clear water… ice cold… even in summer…
on the other side— was nothing.
No people.
Just us… and whatever else was out there.
Bears… Bigfoots… timber rattlesnakes…
just the locals.
…
We’d set camp right on the water…
Fish all day.
Rainbow… brown… beautiful native brook trout…
Trout for breakfast— fish… grits… eggs…
Lunch— fish sandwich… chips…
Supper— we went all out…
Grilled or fried fish… vegetable kabobs… baked potatoes in the fire… salad…
We ate like kings out there.
…
I’ve caught so many fish in that river… I couldn’t even guess the number.
Been going since I was about 7…
I’m 52 now.
Haven’t been in a few years…
Life gets busy…
…but that place is down in me.
…
Some summers…
the riverbanks would glow red—
tiny garnets everywhere.
We’d sift through them… looking for the bigger ones…
We’d also look for gold… found some too.
I remember once… I had a handful of decent-size wild garnets and gold… glistening in my palm
but that place for me— is more valuable than anything I can hold.
…
Then came Florida…
Lived there for 12 years.
Different world— same soul.
Many freshwater fishing trips inland… spent much time at many of the different springs…
…but also the coast…
I lived on Anna Maria Island…
Had a sea kayak.
Weekends… I’d load up my truck… drive to Bishop Harbor…
Drop in…
Paddle 45 minutes out to these tiny… remote islands.
Set up camp.
…
Mornings— I’d paddle and fish…
Afternoons— back to camp… eat… rest… chillax…
Evenings— back out till dark…
Then nights…
just me…
the fire… the water… the sounds… the wildlife…
Alone…
but not really.
…
Down there…
we call it…
Salt Life.
Had the sticker on my truck and everything.
…
So yeah man…
I’ve been what yall call camping a few times 😁
…
All jokes aside…
I’m about that life.
It’s in me…
just like music.
…
…
been singing this in my head and on guitar all day…
Me and my buddy Jonathan… fishing in Florida
Jon and I were fishing when 3 huge wild boars walked behind us
My friend Jimmy holdin’ my fish… this is my pb 9.3 lbs… caught at Lake Istokpoga FL… Feb 2o14Supper one evening on the remote island
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Romans 1:20
“For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse.