Things No One Hath Ever Seeneth

Do you believe in minimalism?

Absolutely not!

I thinketh a man should haveth many wives!

Many guitars. Many books. Many fishing lures.

Minimalism and I haveth agreed to seeth other people.

If you believeth me on this… come hither… I want to showeth you something no one hath ever seeneth…

© 2026 Bryan Loia Hudson. No minimalists were harmed in the making of this post.

`’.,°~

27 Replies to “Things No One Hath Ever Seeneth”

  1. 😂 Brilliant! This gave me a good laugh.

    The mock-Shakespearean style is wonderfully playful, and the line “Minimalism and I haveth agreed to seeth other people” is pure comedy gold. The progression from many guitars, books, and fishing lures to the dramatic invitation of “come hither” builds anticipation perfectly, only to end with the hilarious reveal of a YouTube video.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Brilliant, Bryan! I suspect minimalism took one look at the collection of guitars, books, and fishing lures and quietly packed its bags.

    The Shakespearean “haveth” and “seeth” made it even better. Now I’m genuinely curious about the mysterious thing “no one hath ever seeneth” though I have a feeling it may be a closet that surrendered long ago!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I thinketh thou mayest be right. Minimalism took one look around, sighed deeply, and quietly departed in search of a smaller dwelling.

      As for the thing no one hath ever seeneth… some mysteries are best left hidden behind closet doors that no longer closeth. Thank you friend 😁😎

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Loia, you got me with this one. 😂 The faux-Shakespearean voice is hilarious from start to finish, and the escalating absurdity makes it even better. By the end, I was fully expecting the grand revelation to be something gloriously ridiculous. Fun write, my friend. 🌹🖤🙏🕯️🐦‍⬛

    Liked by 2 people

      1. I just saw why that link was bringing you to the wrong site. I have fixed it. If you have tie to click on my name and see if it works, I would appreciate it. Thanks again, for bringing it to my attention. 🙏☺️

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Yeah man it’s working now… it took me right to your blog here on my jetpack app… it wasn’t doing that before… you’re welcome 🙏😎

        Like

  4. Mininimilism…I cant even spell it..lol…is all very well, but there are never, ever too many books on a shelf 😉

    Nor teapots to sup tea from, nor cups of many designs and colours to pour it into…not types of tea…

    I love the Shakespearean touch. ‘Come hither’…my mum used to say that..so funny.

    Fun read!!

    Liked by 2 people

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