One Way to Explore a New City

What’s the best way to explore a new city?

Oh yes! Great Prompt! And I’m an expert at this sorta thing. I’ve traveled so much and I know what I’m effin’ talkin’ bout. Se se.

So the best way to explore a new city is on the back of a motorcycle being driven by a guy that looks like Arthur Fonzareli from the show Happy Days, while wearing just panties and a bra (regardless of your gender) and maybe even a cool Dolly Parton wig or something.

And just cruise around at a laid-back pace. Don’t be in a hurry. Stop by the ghettos. Go visit the landfill and see what the people are throwing away, this will tell you plenty.

Stop by all the local churches and go inside and see all the pretty people. Talk to the pastor. Introduce yourself. Let them know you’re on their team and that you went to school for this stuff. Tell them how they can get your new book. Then, as you’re leaving, give them the secret hand shake, rub the palm of their hand noticeably with your middle finger, mid-shake, and watch what happens next.

Then go to the nearest Chinese buffet and try and save as many cats as you can. Before it’s too late.

Then go have a snack and rest because you’ve earned it and worry about tomorrow tomorrow.

…

…

…

…

ᶠᵉᵃᵗᵘʳᵉᵈ ⁱᵐᵃᵍᵉ ᵃⁿᵈ ˢᵒⁿᵍ ᵇʸ ᵂᵉˢˡᵉʸ ᵂⁱˡˡⁱˢ

© 2026 Bryan Loia Hudson. All rights reserved.

`’.,°~