Category: Memoir

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First Love…💥…`

When I was 19… I met a girl.. (the girl).. she was 16… I exploded inside when i saw her for the first time…💥🏳… I surrendered… I let my white flags fly… she became my girlfriend… we were inseparable… deep in love… or so we thought… her family loved me… my family loved her… I worked hard… I saved all my money… I bought her a small diamond ring… before I ever asked her to marry me… i knew her eyes said yes always…💥

We lived like we were married… that wasn’t good… it wasn’t christian… it wasn’t Godly… she meant more than anything else to me… that wasn’t good either…💥

My 21st birthday was approaching… I was excited… she was nervous… I started going out nights with my friends… to bars and clubs… I was drinking… I was partying…💥 she was lonely… late one night.. I ended up drunk on my friends couch… a girl I knew before her was there… she sat down beside me… time passed… highly intoxicated….. I had sex with this other girl…💥

When I woke up that morning… sober… I couldn’t believe what I had done… I loved my life so… how could I ever cheat on her… I felt like garbage… dirty… so–fake… I 💥 walked to the bathroom… threw some water on my face… I couldn’t look in the mirror…

I decided to tell her the truth… I had to let go of this… to be free… to be honest… to be me again… oh how.. I wanted her to forgive me… I just knew that our love was💥 strong enough to bend… that we could survive this… before I could tell her… she told me that she had a dream… that same night… that I cheated on her… WHOA-OH… unbelievable… I was in the process of being unfaithful… while she was asleep and dreaming of it…💥

So.. I sat her down… trembling.. I told her… it broke her in half… she told me to leave… long story short… she was done… she never had anything to do with me ever again…💥

Now I was broke… behond repair… it took me years to get right… I’ve endured much pain and hurt on my narrow road of life… but nothing ever as painful as losing her…

About 6 months ago… I found her Facebook… I gathered myself… found strength to look through her pictures… I saw her… her husband… her two glowing  teenagers… boy and girl… her life…💥 without me… looked so beautiful…💛

‘pictures in a box at home– yellowing and green with mold– so I can barely see your face–(I) wonder how that color taste–…🎵 –‘……..    ……….~</3~’…A…—|—’…N….-/-/-‘..G…..↓°↓°↓’…E….^|^’……L….¡!’….A…:;:;’…….</3,,,’—|—†’“““`=angela


“”and for the million hours that we were
well I’ll smile and remember it all
then I’ll turn and go🎵
while your story’s completed mine is a long way from done…””

…….<3~:;∞’…“`-\|□♡◇¿¡!<+~`》¤○•°`,: ;*

Part of a poem… by Thomas Ford

There is a lady sweet and kind…
Was never face so pleased my mind…
I did but see her passing by…
And yet I love her till I die……

I’m totally over this today… just thought I’d write about it… 😁`’.¡~.

© Bryan H. 2025 — All Rights Reserved

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Famous People I Know… Famous People I’m Related to…

Who is the most famous or infamous person you have ever met?

So I know some famous people.. let’s start with Sterling Winfield… him and i hung out some back in 2006-08… we don’t talk today… I could tell you some cool stories… he once called on the phone from inside a limousine with Kid Rock and Pam Anderson… that’s was kinda cool…💥

Also.. I am friends with Pastor Bill Bailey… he is the top southern gospel music promoter in the nation… from 2009-13.. I met and hung out with so many Christian music artists and groups through him… here’s a few… Jason Crabb.. Adam Crabb.. The Issacs… many others associated with Bill Gaither….💥

Also… I’ve hung out with Victor Wooten and Steve Bailey… Victor is one of the best bass guitar players in the world… he hangs out with Dave Matthews…💥

Also… from my in-depth study of my family tree.. I found out that I’m related to.. President Richard Nixon… William Penn.. for which Pennsylvania is named… his grandson John Penn… also.. my ancestors were directly involved in the Salem Witch Trials…💥

But the most famous person I know…….. my LORD… my SAVIOR… my KING… my GOD… my FRIEND… that sticks closer than a brother… my ALL-IN-ALL… JESUS CHRIST… do you know HIM?…💥

Yall should have known that was coming… 😆😁😛…💥

Also… the most infamous one I know is Lucifer… we had a falling out in 2006.. I haven’t spoken to him since…💥

So what does all this mean? Absolutely nothing…..🏳

Only one of these matters to me…💥 everything else under my sun is simply vanity…💥

SURRENDER YOUR GOLD…..

`°-.¡`♡◇`-_/'<>=e’……—†—’,`-.~°`>’

© Bryan H. 2025 — All Rights Reserved

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Dog Spelled Backward

The Kind of Love… That Doesn’t Last… But Never Leaves…💥

by Loia 🏳

Pets are great.. I love them.. They’ve been a part of me—a part of my family—throughout my whole life…💥

I’m more of a dog person.. but I grew up in a house full of cats.. I mean.. like many—ten plus… easily… My mother loves cats.. more than should probably be allowed..

Over the years.. I’ve loved… and lost—deeply… and often… because of pets.. That’s the thing about them.. you’re most likely going to outlive them… You can’t escape the grief.. It’s part of the price.. But the lessons they teach… and the joy they bring… make worth it every time…

Take the dog.. for instance… It’s the closest thing to God’s love we have—man’s best friend… loving us 💥 unconditionally… “Dog” spelled backward is “God,”… and I don’t think that’s a coincidence… They were made this way on purpose—to help us see…

I’ve buried more than a few… It never gets easy… After the last funeral… I decided not to own another… But I’ve had some wonderful ones… Buck… Maggie…Beavis…  and the last one… Eve…`-,;………….<~†~>’,

She was special… Named her so.. because I found her in the middle of the road… late into a cold Christmas Eve night… she was shivering and starving….. eating roadkill to survive… I almost ran over her with my car… she was just a tiny little puppy… a bright blip on the dark road… I stopped… I rescued her… then she rescued me… She was beautiful… and white… a red-nose pit bull mix—friendly… loving… and smart…

I had her trained on hand commands… I didn’t need to use words—just eye contact and motioning… She obeyed because she loved me… and she wanted to please me… We had a silent language… like ellipses and em dashes… like rests in music… We spoke through hands… eyes… and heart…💥

Funny thing is.. that’s something I still do today—with people… not pets…
Makes me wonder sometimes… which is the real animal?

Now.. let’s jump from canine to feline… Freaking cats..man—they haunt me in dreams! I grew up with them.. they’ve always been around.. My mother still has a house full to this day.. She loves them so much she can’t even go on vacation or leave town—it’s too much trouble finding a babysitter… She’s kind of controlled by what she loves…💥

And it’s not just dogs I’ve buried… I’ve said goodbye to cats too—and had the honor of loving some great ones… Bebe… Dusty… Bernie Mack… Buttons… Precious… Sissy… that’s just some of them…

Earlier tonight… I came across a comment I once posted on a friend’s page… It’s a cat story from my life… my past… I thought I’d end with it…

If you’ve made it this far… thank you—for taking the time to get to know me… I love and appreciate you… Here’s that story… copy-pasted.. just for you… I hope it blesses you…💥

—

My mother loves cats… Her email is literally kittyqueen..
Growing up.. we always had a house full of them—all fat… all spoiled rotten… living like kings and queens… Honestly… they had it better than I did!

We had one male tabby named Dusty who lived nineteen years… I was thirteen when we got him and thirty-two when he died… Losing him was like losing a member of the family… He’d been there through everything…

Dusty had a wonderful… long life… Most cats don’t make it to nineteen… I named him Dusty because of his unusual color—he looked like he was covered in dust… He died in my arms…💥

We also had another cat named Bernie Mack (I named him too)… He was a miracle… One day… my mother accidentally ran over his head with her car… We rushed him to the vet… and they managed to save him… His jaw was broken and wired shut… his skull and nose fractured… major brain swelling—he even had a feeding tube…

For three months… our vet cared for him at her house… keeping him beside her bed at night…. People in our whole town were praying for him… Against all odds… Bernie survived—and lived another sixteen years…

I know that cat only made it because of prayer…💥

—

Maybe that’s what pets are really here for… to remind us how to love something that can’t last forever—and to love it anyway.

What is good about having a pet

© 2025–2026 BryanForChrist. All rights reserved.

`’.,°~

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When Grace Outbid Darkness…,t’

Name the most expensive personal item you’ve ever purchased (not your home or car).

✦ The Most Expensive Thing I Have

by Loia✝️

Honestly—the most expensive thing I have isn’t a car.. a house.. or anything you can put a price tag on—it’s my soul…
And even then—it technically isn’t mine…
It belongs to Jesus—He’s the one who paid for it… in full—with His life…,

Truth is—I almost sold it once…
I was in a dark place—and came dangerously close to making the worst deal imaginable… (June 2006)… I came face to face… with the source of evil…,
But Jesus stepped in—rescued me—and bought me back…’
He outbid hell itself…,

So yeah—my soul is the most valuable thing in my possession—
not because I purchased it—but because He did…
and He lets me keep it—safely—in His hands…,’…,’…t’ ✝️

Bought Back…

© Bryan H. 2025 — All Rights Reserved

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“Public School…Private Faith…”

English… Literature… Reading… History… Science… I loved the words… the stories… the quiet pages that spoke…
Public school taught me some facts..sometimes—
but Home taught me Faith…
There I studied the Bible… line upon line…
until the words began to study me…
And somewhere between ink and Spirit—
I learned what no subject could teach…,’…,’…t

What was your favorite subject in school?

© Bryan H. 2025 — All Rights Reserved

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Power of silence (rest’s   ellipsis…em dash–)

((Something powerful occurred to me today))

So when I was younger and learning to read sheet music..I was in 7th grade I think…my chorus teacher Mrs.Mudd…she told me that the most powerful symbol in music…is the REST…showing a pause in the lyrics…when nothing is being sung…(as much is sung in the silence of the rest as the lyrics themselves)

And now that I’m writing…I’m finding the same exact thing…with the ELLIPSIS… and EM DASH–…these are symbols to indicate silence and pause in poetry…they are what brings the power and meaning and impact to the words and feelings…and again…(as much…if not more is being said when nothing is being said)

It occurred to me…that the same is with GOD…when HE is SILENT…HE is actually answering..and saying just as much if not more……….

“”In the picture is the symbols for rest…pause…silence–…””…”

© Bryan H. 2025 — All Rights Reserved

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A SHORT FAITH POEM

“In Heart of It…”

(by Loia)

In the heart of it,
O dark night of it–
Distantly, partially lit,
Possibly the end of it?’

Dreamth of yellow,
Places of gray,
Flowing in the depths of it.

Jesus saves me–
In and out from the pit of it.
O my, O my…
Looks like the end of it…,’…,’…t                

© Bryan H. 2025 — All Rights Reserved

`’.,°~

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Hello World!

Hey everyone my name is Loia pronounced like Loy like Joy..and that’s not the name I go by in real life lol..my real name is Bryan..but Loia is actually my middle name and I chose it as my pen name..I’m new to all this..I just started truly writing mostly short poems yesterday morning after a dream I had..so as I woke up..I felt compelled to write about the dream..so i laid in bed and spent about 20 minutes writing my first poem…”In Heart Of It…”and since yesterday morning I have written a total of 6..so I decided to create a blog and domain today in hopes of posting them all..as of now all the words are building in me and flowing from me lol..I’m scared I may forget them so as soon as they come I’m letting them out…but I am a christian and a man of faith..so a lot of my work ties into that in some fashion..so again..just wanted to say hello..and say that I have absolutely no idea what I am doing 😊..ok gonna try ‘n figure out how to post stuff now…

© Bryan H. 2025 — All Rights Reserved