Posted on by loia

The Ink And The Needle…

In memory of Joey…

So I once wrote a piece called “fourteen”
Some of you read it
About the death of my friend
When I was young
And how it changed everything for me early on

I’ve been thinking of him today
And.. I was reminded of this story

It was 1988
Me
Joey
And Chris

We had our entire lives in front of us
But who really cared about that crap right now
We were too busy being country boys

Hunting
Fishing
Shooting guns
Listening to music
Playing football and baseball
Laughing and pranking each other
Sneaking in and out of the neighborhood girls’ bedroom windows late at night
While the oblivious moms and dads slept quiet.. and cold… back to back…

Raiding the liquor cabinet of my friend April’s dad
Filling the bottles back up with tea or water
Or whatever the hell we could find

Life was sweet
Alive…………………………………………………..`.°~
Intoxicating

Feels so long ago
And now it’s just these words

One day.. the three of us decided to buy some Indian ink from the local drug store
And give each other tattoos

We were great at many things
However
Drawing with a dipped sewing needle was not one of them.. haha

We secured the ink and the needle
Yes…
One needle…
For all three of us…

We didn’t care about disease back then
We were blood brothers anyway

So we ventured way back into the woods along a creek we frequented
There was a huge fallen oak tree across the water
Forming a natural bridge

This was our favorite hangout spot
We also fished the creek often
Mostly after school and on the weekends

Those woods…
We knew them well
The three of us spent a lot of our lives there

So we sat together on that tree bridge

Joey was first up for the ink
He was the brave one
The cool one
The leader

After all
It was his idea

He picked me to be the one to permanently eff his skin up for life…

I was nervous
I didn’t really want to do it

Stop being a pussy Bryan
Ok…
I got this
Give me the ink and the needle and stfu
Watch and learn fellas

So I proceeded

I put the needle to his back

And gave him his initials… J. T.

He also wanted a cross
And so I did…

And I have to say
It looked pretty badass
For what I had to work with
Not bad at all

What a relief…

But when my turn came
I don’t know what the hell came over me

I became afraid
Not only of the pain
But of the forever of it

If this is going to be on me for life
Then I want it to look good
Not some black chicken-scratch bullshit.. I have to stare at forever

The fear got me
And I didn’t go through with it

So we wrapped up the ink and the needle
Placed it in a little wooden box
And hid it inside a hollowed-out dead tree

Then we went home

And I caught hell from them the whole way back…
For chickening out…

And I did feel bad
Like I broke our bro code
Like I let my crew down

That was one of the last times I ever saw Joey alive…

The next time
Was when I stood over his casket at the funeral

A few months went by…

One night I was in my room playing my guitar late…
And I caught his spirit…
I felt his presence…

I don’t really have words for it
But I was so moved by it…

That I grabbed a flashlight
Climbed quietly out my bedroom window
So I wouldn’t wake anyone

Went into the woods
Retrieved the wooden box with the ink and the needle
Made it back to my room

Sat on my bed

And gave myself a small cross tattoo on my arm…

In memory of my friend…

Late that night… the ink finally meant something…

…….↑≠◇→~✿✿~→✖→✖→✖’

18 Replies to “The Ink And The Needle…”

  1. Joey is woven into that ink. Every time you look at that small cross on your arm, you aren’t just seeing a tattoo; you are seeing 1988. You are seeing the fallen oak tree. You are seeing the friend who was brave enough to go first.
    He is with you. In the ink, in the music, and in the memories you are keeping alive by writing them down🌷
    With love and warmth
    Aparna 🩵

    Liked by 4 people

    Reply

      2. Ooooooh no you didn’t hurt me.. your words blessed me!.. sorry if I came across the wrong way 😊.. your words were great!.. totally great.. they caused me to be without words 😁 tytyty` @`~~~~~

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Wow, this is a beautiful story

    And reminds me of the tattoo of my husband. He did it himself, when he was young like you were. A little turtle. It was not perfect but sweet and we all loved it. the turltes name was ” Ernstli” (his fathers name, whom he didnt like so much, or maybe yes?)
    When my husband passed away, I realised, that the tattoo on his arm will deaspear with him. And for a second, I wondered, if it could be cut out. Oh my god! What a stupid thought. But still – sometimes I think, I should give me the turtle on my shoulder. I anyway carry his story with me for ever 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

    1. Wow… also so beautiful.. thank you for sharing that with me.. I totally feel you.. so sorry for your loss.. and I will remember you 🙏.. I relate.. although it’s different losing the romantic love of your life compared to a best friend type love.. you touched me.. thank you again…

      Like

      Reply

  3. I’m sitting here sobbing into my coffee at 6 am. Joey will always live in you and on you through a small symbol that is larger than anything in this world. Here’s hoping your memories of Joey always shine bright within you and everyone who knew him. Thank you for sharing this. It is so raw and beautiful. ❤️

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    1. Wow really?.. sorry to make you cry.. forgive me.. 😁.. I’m not a crier.. but sometimes.. on one’s like this.. I keep a small piece of tissue in my hand.. to gently dab.. my eyes as I write.. just so I can see what I’m doing.. `ty.. I’m glad it touched you.. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  4. WoW … Such a moving story, my friend. 🤗
    Your love for Joey shows in every word. His memory lives deep in your heart, and that little cross carries so much meaning. ✝️
    May Jesus hold you in His peace and remind you that your friend rests safely in His light. 🕊️

    Praying comfort and strength for you. 🙏

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

      1. My pleasure… Sorry again for your loss… I know it was a while ago, but those feelings don’t go away. Believe me, I know the feeling..

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a comment